Now my own kids, however, are smart! Of course they are, since every parent thinks that about their own kids! Actually, my own opinion is that however they are perceived to be (and I am well aware of what things teachers look for in ‘smart kids’), we have a baseline expectation on academics for them that we’ve cultured their entire lives. If a teacher ever says to us “wow, your kids are at X level in math and X level in reading, they are so smart!” we might silently take the compliment, but deep down we will think “wow, it is so sad that that level in math and reading is not the expectation for the other children.” To excel in academics and be an intellectual as a lifestyle is not any more of an achievement than eating three meals (and a snack!) a day that are heavy in fruits and vegetable. Both are admirable, but both are what you are supposed to do.
What expectations are in our house? Well, play time is important, and we always make sure they have plenty of that. We also encourage reading, and for years have read to them before bed (it is less consistent this last year) and they are free to read when they want to. Art is also important, and the kids spend lots of time doing art projects (oh, they can certainly be projects) that they think up in addition to drawing and coloring and, overall, creating. This is almost always self-driven for them (sometimes I’ll give them something to do art-wise, but 99% of the time they just think of stuff). We encourage music (to a limited degree, but it is expanding as they get older) and language (Italian now, though they resist).
We also encourage their working in workbooks. I want everyone to note the word ‘encourage’ because one thing we do NOT do is act like Tiger Parents and push our kids to do things and excel. We encourage and expect and reward, we do not demand and punish. To succeed you need: aptitude, opportunity, and desire. The last one, desire, is probably the most important thing; without desire you get people that can do really well without doing anything meaningful. Being a Tiger Parent drains your child of the desire (many may not have the desire to do certain subjects anyway) and, ultimately, leads them to a life of unfulfilled competence. At that point the parent has failed.
It becomes difficult, however, if your child SAYS they don’t want to do something, but it just isn’t true. Kestian, for example, will loudly complain about doing workbooks, and I always remind him that he doesn’t have to do them. Seriously. Now, granted, we don’t watch TV for our hour in early evening if he doesn’t (not applicable on homework days), but if he doesn’t want that reward he doesn’t have to do it. But the funny thing is that he will (almost always) start working on them about 5-15 minutes after complaining, and not just because he wants his little bit of TV. He really does enjoy doing them (and he even says so while doing them!), but sometimes he needs to just start it to realize it.
I guess we are lucky in that we do not have a Wii or X-Box or anything like that. I see people with kids our age casually mention about their kids on Wii or (even worse) World of Warcraft and I totally cringe. If THAT is what your kids are doing, is it any wonder if they don’t want to read or play such mundane things as cards or puzzles? If their expectation is that they’ll be able to watch TV all day or play computer games, then I think the parents have not done their job. BUT, it is good to know that those kids will be the ones competing against ours to get into Princeton and Cornell in 10 years. Good luck with that!
This long meander needs to get back to me, because I am comparing our kids to me by way of my handy first grade composition book. Let’s see what little six-year-old Damon was up to:
Oh, wow, 9/11. On what is now such a poignant day, what was young and innocent me doing a full 20 years before the attacks? Did I learn anything interesting? Did we talk about something that really caught my imagination and made me think? Did I put down some great original writing?
Nope, we made goddamn Jello.
I apparently do not know the rules for capitalization, except perhaps there was a rule that I capitalize everything except “b”, “d”, “e”, and “j”. I also break out the linguistics to inform everyone of the schwa pronunciation Jello. Oddly, I get the “j” backwards on one page, but correct on the other page. Also note how my writing moves up and down with disregards for the actual lines on the page? Yeah, I still do that.
At least the Jello was Yum-m-m-m-m-y.
How does this compare to the kids at the same developmental stage? Well they brought home THEIR composition books (though this is not a common occurrence). Did they make Jello? Was it strawberry?
"My baby brother can
open doors and I share
Toys with him sometimes
he gets in the wei [way] but
I still love him I play
with him I go to the stor
with him. he is the best
when he plays with me I
Love him so much baby
brothers are so nice when
they play with you. The end."
Jesus fucking Christ, they wrote actual stories that they had to come up with themselves! Oh, my education was SORELY lacking.
Kestian wrote about his brother Fenton and, in all seriousness, there was no doubt that his first story would be about Fenton or dinosaurs. I’m just surprised he didn’t somehow work dinosaurs into it, though give him time and he’ll find a way. The best line of the story: “Sometimes he gets in the wei but I still love him.” So true, so very true.
"The funy [funny] man
I sol [saw] a funy man.
He had a funy car.
And a funy pet it wus [was] funy.
I like this man because
I like funy pepl [people] a lot.
I like funy pepl because
I like funy.
And funy is good.
Wuns [once] I sol him havang [having]
a pnik [picnic] anthen [and then] I went to
the pnik it was fun.
I wen't [went] on a wide [ride?] and
I sol the funy man.
And I had a grat [great]
prdy [party] and it was a lot of fun.
The end."
I sol [saw] a funy man.
He had a funy car.
And a funy pet it wus [was] funy.
I like this man because
I like funy pepl [people] a lot.
I like funy pepl because
I like funy.
And funy is good.
Wuns [once] I sol him havang [having]
a pnik [picnic] anthen [and then] I went to
the pnik it was fun.
I wen't [went] on a wide [ride?] and
I sol the funy man.
And I had a grat [great]
prdy [party] and it was a lot of fun.
The end."
Adelaide’s is interesting for many reasons. First, it is a fun little non-fiction piece (and, wow, she has quite an imagination for stories if you ever talk to her), but it is also modeled after something from her work book.
Note I said modeled after, because it has only a little resemblance to a poem she read at least a month ago. Her story is The Funny Man (it even has a title) and its similarities to The Silly Man are that line and the line about having a silly car. The rest is pure Adelaide. I am so proud, not only of the fact that it is a fun piece that she composed, but also that it was inspired by something but made entirely her own
There really is no comparison between my ‘work’ as a starting first grader and theirs.Perhaps we should reward them with a Wii?
