OHHCRAP

Speaking of house hunting...I'm not sure our audience truly appreciates the insanity that is the Orsetti-house-hunting-complete-recon-attack-plan. The OHHCRAP is a very careful, strategic approach that war generals tend to envy. The amount of plotting, scheming, and due diligence...it's bewildering to some, but just par for the course for us.

Don't believe me? Then you don't know me. Just remember back to when I was hunting for daycares.... Yeah, it's like that. Or like the budget I do. Only more so.

But some of you do know me. And you aren't at all surprised when I show you this:


You'll probably have to enlarge the picture to get the true OHHCRAP experience. This is only a portion of the document Damon and I have created for this mission. The most important criteria is school district, so that's first. Then address, and price. Before we even get to the details of the house I've calculated the minimum down payment, the loan amount, the taxes (which plays a HUGE role in this), and some other negotiation calculations. We're not sure what were comfortable with paying, but this helps put everything on an even playing field. Obviously, we'll negotiate down to something less. We'll also get a better interest rate than 4.9, but playing it safe.

Then there's the color-coding and ranking system. Green is anything that is a good deal; Yellow is OK; Red is warning - it's damn expensive. If Damon or I want to see it, we mark it 0/1/2 based on our interest level. A similar color coding process is also used for square footage and a few other key things.

If you were to scroll over, you get to see some of the nuts and bolts of our OHHCRAP document (below). Beds, baths, HOA, air/heat, garage, basement. These tend to be the top things we are interested in. What kind of yard it has, what the neighborhood is like, and if there is a park nearby are also up there. But, you know, we can't put all of that in there. That would be insane - even for the OHHCRAP! Damon and I then have entered some notes about it...


Also in the OHHCRAP, you will see that we have multiple tabs. Philly Rejects are houses with no A/C or only 1 bathroom. We decided that a family of 5 has to have at least 2 working toilets. And with summer as hot as it is, A/C is a must - although we might consider something that has window A/C if it's a rockin' deal. There is also a tab for Delaware houses, but there's a good chance we won't move there.

We also have our wonderful Price Gauge chart that Damon created. Isn't is beautiful?


I'm not talking about the pretty colors, but all the information here. It tells us what the mortgage payment will be, including home owner's insurance and taxes. There is a separate chart for 4.9%, 4.75%, 4.5%, and 4.25%.

I can't stress to you how important the taxes are to this process. A house that costs $225K with $1000 taxes will have about the same mortgage payment as a house that costs $160K with $5000 taxes. So looking at the taxes is no less important than the cost of the house itself.

Anyhow, now you know all about the OHHCRAP. Sometimes I think we should patent it. Then we'd make enough money to buy one of these places.

Weird house pics - Part II

Hope you enjoyed the weird house pics from yesterday. I promised I'd have more, and so I deliver to you: Weird House Pics - Part II... Remember folks, these people choose to have these pictures shown in their listing. Even more odd, though, is that their listing agent agrees to post them.

Exhibit 11: Arms reach

I think there was another picture of the "rest" of the kitchen, but really people? This is where your stove is? "Honey, I'm home from walking the dogs! Let me start dinner and then I'll shut the door." Enough said.

Exhibit 12: Safety is not #1


It's not so much the mustard-brown countertops and backsplash. Or that not one of the lower cabinets closes properly. But correct me if I am wrong: Is that stove plugged into the outlet above the counter? That can't meet code, I'm sure. If it's not the stove, but rather something off to the right, that's not much better either...

Exhibit 13: Groovy


I don't care much for restaurants or stores that line their walls with mirrors to make their store look bigger. Even more, I don't care for it in a living room. It's not like it's that small of a living room that they are trying to make look bigger either. Even worse, though, is that it's a bunch of small mirrors all put together. When you put small mirrors next to each other, the only possible outcome is seeing yourself as a Picasso reject.

Exhibit 14: Doggone it!


Mr. Peabody meets Huckleberry Hound meets Underdog dancing with a bunch of similar, yet different, girls. Did this family have quintuplets, and an unnaturally large dancing dog, and want to somehow commemorate it? It's not like this is a bad mural, but they chose to showcase it in their pictures. They could have shown the garden, or the bathroom, but no. The dancing girls, and dog. They wanted to make sure you saw this.

Exhibit 15: Line up!


Yes. This is another weird kitchen. Seems a lot of these pictures have to do with weird kitchens. But in this example we see that the washer and dryer are next to the fridge and stove (yet no dishwasher...). I suppose they did that to get more counter space - since there is no counter. And why not multi-task? Actually, a lot of European homes have the laundry in the kitchen, so maybe they were going for that... Oui oui!

Exhibit 16: Eat...then rest...


There was another (relatively normal) kitchen picture in the listing for this house, but this angle really struck me. Up close we have a kitchen table. See the place mats and the salt and pepper shakers? Then look behind it. It's someone's bedroom. No door. Just the bedroom. I guess you can eat dinner and then go to bed in a hop, skip, and a jump!

Exhibit 17: Choices


To break up the kitchen monotony (because there are even more kitchen pics!) here's something a little different. It's really not all that horrible...just strange. Strange in that there are 4 faucets for this shower. I'm going to take a stab at it and assume that it is for really hot, sorta hot, sorta cold, and really cold. Or maybe you get more water pressure when you turn more than one on.

Exhibit 18: What started it all

This whole thing with the weird pics started with something like this one. I can't actually find the one that left me so perplexed that I told everyone I know at work about it, but it was sorta like this. What do you notice here? Blue counter top? Whatever. No cabinets or dishwasher? Maybe they are along another wall. Blue walls? Getting closer! Not just blue walls - blue tiled walls. The picture that I can't find anymore actually had pink tiled walls like this, that went up about 2/3 of the way. Not pink tile in the bathroom (although there have been plenty of those), but the kitchen! It's not so much that it's tiled. It's that it's going to be like that forever! You can't paint tiles. The only way to change the color is to rehab the kitchen. This blue is ok and one could work with it. But the pink - not so much. Man, I wish I could find that pic!

Exhibit 19: The green machine

These people like green. Now, I looked at one house's pictures and I swear every room in the house was a pale turquoise. Every room. The walls, the carpet. All turquoise. I think the listing is down now, so I'll have to do some more digging. But meanwhile...this is some serious mint green. Every paintable surface, including the ceiling, is mint green. I bet they were mad that the oven only came in boring white. Come on, you need to work a little harder! We know that you can find a baby blue stove top! I'm surprised the counter tops aren't green too, but maybe they just didn't want to go overboard. Anyways, why is that cabinet by the stove turned sideways?

Exhibit 20: Lucy in the sky with diamonds


The last one for today is not about a kitchen. It's this lovely carpet in a bedroom. I could go dizzy just looking at the picture. Someone had to be on LSD to make this carpet. And to install it. Still, I feel the need to see it in person. To touch it. To say that I have seen the 8th wonder of the world. On the plus side, I'm sure it hides the dirt.


Ok folks. That's all for today. I have some more pics, but will wait until I have enough for another good post. Meanwhile, I guess I'll get back to writing about the kids... Ta-ta!

Weird house pics - Part I

While we are waiting for our house to sell, we've been looking at other people's houses. It's very voyeuristic. But even more than that, it's very weird. It's weird to see not just how other people live, but how they choose to market their house. Pictures are a huge part of marketing your house. What people see in those pictures will say a lot about you, how you take care of your house, and have a good chance of sending the buyer on their way if something is off. After all, there are more houses to look at!

That being said, I like to consider every house. Every aspect of every house. And then I still want to see it. I don't care about the color of the paint, or the way the furniture looks. I do care about how many bathrooms it has, how functional the kitchen is, whether it has a basement. I can change superficial things, but not the structure of the house.

So as I've been going through all these pictures, I've been grabbing some that just make me go "Huh?" You'll see what I mean...

Exhibit 1: The Blue Kitchen


I'm not talking about blue paint, or blue curtains. I'm talking about blue appliances. The fridge, the sink, the stove top... Not only are the appliances blue, but they found a matching trash can. I also suspect that in the second picture there is a blue washer and dryer - in the kitchen! It's not the dishwasher. It could be the oven, but it's two units which is odd for a older oven. Whatever it is, just how, exactly, did they find everything in this color?

Exhibit 2: The wannabe kitchen

I'm assuming that the fridge is somewhere behind the camera. I don't see a dishwasher. And it's a very oddly place stove. I can just picture it. The builder is about done when the appliance man stops by. "Where do ya want the stove?" "Huh, oh I don't know, just stick it over there."

Exhibit 3: The torture chamber


This is someone's basement. It looks like a lot more than games or TV watching goes on here. The randomly placed barber chair nearby some cabinet most certainly filled with torture tools just creeps me out. Only sinister things can go on down here. I've never liked basements. Or barbers.

Exhibit 4: Silence...of the laaaambs


You've seen the movie. The first thing I thought of when I saw this was the basement where Buffalo Bill sews together his human-skin dress. " It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told." Am I right? Am I right?

Exhibit 5: The sanitarium

As in, it will send you to one. Ok, it's not that bad. But really people? How can you relax with this all around you? The comforter doesn't help.

Exhibit 6: Unfinished business


It's not so much the drywall. Rooms get fixed up all the time. But they seem to have put back their furniture back, as if to say, "Screw it! We took down the old wall. We put up a new wall. We spackled. Why bother with a coat of paint?" Why bother having a picture of it?

Exhibit 7: Mix and match


Looks like these people wanted to make their house bigger. And looking through the interior pictures, it looks pretty nice. Then I came to this. What, was Home Depot out of grey siding? And what's the deal with the big arches? I'd be all over this house if it didn't look like it was a made to fit over a hobbit house.

Exhibit 8: Watch your step

You're just walking along and then, "Wha?" Down you go into who knows where. "Oh! Someone put some stairs there!" Is the 16" high rail supposed to keep you from falling in, or just leave you with a false sense of security until the stairs gobble you up? I've also been forever trying to understand what is above the stairs. Is it a window to another room? Is that spackle? I can't tell!!!

Exhibit 9: Wannabee kitchen, remix


This is the most sorry excuse for a kitchen I have ever seen. A sink and a stove. Didn't see any pictures with a fridge, but there must be one. Forget a dishwasher though. And cabinets. At least the curtains are cute. But which curtains?

Exhibit 10: WTF?


This is one weird house. There are only like 4 pics of it, and 2 are outside, so I have no idea what it's like inside. It looks like Frank Lloyd Wright threw up all over it, and then called it a day.


Stay tuned for Part II! That's right: I got more!

23 things

Fenton turns 15 months next week. We all know that he's a cute kid, a charmer, and Mama's boy...but did you know that he:

1. Loves to wear shoes
2. Loves to not wear clothes (except shoes)
3. Dances and spins to music, much like Steve Martin did in The Jerk (before he got his rhythm)
4. Uses bottles of milk sometimes for drinking but mostly for dripping on one's leg, the carpet, the kitchen floor, my pants, the couch...
5. Has super-sonic radar detection and knows where your phone/remote/glasses are at any given time and, more importantly, when you have stepped away from it
6. Loves nature
7. Goes from sound asleep in the bed to feet on the floor and running away in 5 seconds flat
8. Thinks his brother and sister are awesome and wants to be like them, especially when it comes to going in the playroom
9. Knows how to open doors in the house, but doesn't know he knows
10. Climbs up on the chairs just to sit at the kitchen table
11. Loves to only let Mommy hold him, unless he's tired or wakes up at night - then only wants Papa
12. Will flirbert your leg/arm/stomach at seemingly random times, just to make you laugh
13. Will sit on Damon's back and lift up his shirt to look for who-knows-what
14. Sometimes draws with crayons but mostly eats them
15. Eats all his dinner before I start mine, then complains while he waits for me to eat
    
16. Believes in the out-of-sight-out-of mind principle when it comes to cleaning food from the table
17. Lately has been falling asleep on the couch at night while watching Antiques Roadshow
18. Doesn't really say words yet (except maybe some form of "thank you" and "more" and "mama" and "bye-bye") but yet has no trouble communicating
19. Would play on the computer for an hour if you let him, but has no patience for you getting on the computer for two minutes to print some coupons
20. Happily joins me in the jogging stroller on my semi-regular Saturday morning jog at the park
21. Takes it as his personal mission to sweep the kitchen floor every night
22. Loves bath night, especially the part when he gets out of the tub and runs around naked (see #2) and pees on the carpet
23. Believes that all grape Powerade bottles do not belong in the pantry, but rather on the coffee table, and enforces this strictly
    

More or less

I got nothin.

Seriously.

Today I just can't think of anything to write about.

Sure, there is a lot going on. There always is. But still. I'm at a loss. A loss for what to write about today.

And it's not like I have to write today. But I feel like writing here is one thing that if I stop doing, I'll stop doing. Getting behind can be dangerous.

Of course, avoiding "getting behind" is not why I write here. All tens of our family and friends are seemingly interested in this and that with the Orsettis. And I also I want the kids to have something to look back on one day, especially to aid in their therapy sessions.

So what to write about... Hmmm.... Ok, I'll go through some recent pictures on my phone and see what I come up with.

We are waiting for the school to send us which class the kids will be in for first grade. We have resigned ourselves to the fact that the kids will start first grade here in KY. We had hoped to sell the house by now, but it's only been on the market two months. And in this housing market, it could be a while. We hope the kids are in the same class again. I'd like to know soon so we can buy all those annoying school supplies. School starts August 11!

OK - technically this is not a picture from my phone, but I can see it on my phone, so that counts, right?

Speaking of the house, as I just mentioned, we still have not sold it. We've had some people come through, but no offers. We are having an open house this weekend, hoping to renew some interest. I'm not convinced it will help though. Most people don't wait for an open house to buy a house. If they want to see it, they'll come and see it.


Kestian complains that his throat feels all weird when he eats sausage and that he might throw up. He's eaten sausage all of his life, but lately he has had this complaint. It's possible that he's allergic or sensitive to something in it. There's no way we can test for every little thing, so we'll just put it on the list of foods he should avoid.


Fenton has officially outgrown his infant car seat. We were hoping that he could stay in it a while since he often falls asleep in his seat when I do errands. Since the seat pops out of the car, no need to wake him. But he spills over the edges and, according to the seat's guidelines, he's now 2 inches too tall for it. We installed his big-boy seat, but alas it does not fit in our car rear facing because the front seats push it up. I was hoping to keep him rear-facing at least another year, but that may not happen. Plus, we have recently had the added problem of him kicking the other kids in the face. Our friend is going to see if she can make it work, but since we don't have to buy a minivan I'm not complaining if this is how it has to be.


And as we saw earlier, the kids now can tie their shoes and are obsessed not only with tying and retying their shoes, but having you watch them tie and retie their shoes. Can someone please answer why "tie" spelled with an "ie" but "tying" with a "y"?


I recently went to Las Vegas for a conference. I had four glorious days to myself while Damon was in charge of all three kids. Somehow, we all survived. The flight home provided some cool cloud pics, although I admit I must have looked silly taking pictures on the plane. Hasn't she ever flown before?
The most important thing, though, that I learned at the conference is that Elvis is still alive. I know. I have proof.

Fenton likes his food. His favorite is pasta, but he likes bananas a lot too. He also like those yogurt tube things...
and ice cream sandwiches. Even the ice cream sandwich that Mommy was just offering a bite of and not the whole thing.

We recently bought a keyboard, since Damon got an awesome deal on it at Toys R Us. All the kids like it, but Adelaide really likes it. Damon only wishes that it was a real piano.

The kids stay home with Damon three days a week. Wednesdays are Game Day. The kids play things like Ticket to Ride and Settlers of Catan. Sometimes one of the kids wins.

Recently on Consumerist, someone was asking about Turkey Hill ice cream and what they were trying to sell exactly. Is it a new flavor, or original recipe? To my delight, I found the same mislabeled ice cream in our freezer. Having now consumed said ice cream, I can say that it is the original new recipe flavor.

Hmm. I guess I had more to write about than I thought.

All tied up

I promise I'll write something soon. Until then here are some videos of the kids just learning to tie their shoes (with just a hint of the infinite patience they have for their brother) ...

Chit chat

Just some more cuteness from the Fenner...

More

I took this video with my phone. Then I uploaded it to YouTube through my phone. I love my phone.

The kids are cute too...

Vacation at the chore

In our house, we are always looking for ways to get the kids to conform to our rigid ideals. Take, for instance, jumping on the couch. We tend to frown on such things, and often this behavior will lead to a time-out. Hard-ass, I know. But you gotta draw the line somewhere if you don't want your kids to grow up smoking crack and eating Bugles.

And it's not just couch-jumping. It's back-talking. It's whining. It's not listening. It's staying in your chair during dinner without falling off or dropping your food more than 16 times and not talking so you can finish in under 2 hours. Yeah, we're pretty strict, I know. So lately, I've added a new flare to the boring old time-out routine. After all, we parents have to keep things interesting. Welcome: chores!

Yes, that's right. Now all 6-year-old children in the Orsetti household get an automatic chore for every time-out. Quite brilliant, I must say. Now, we've had the kids doing chores for a while now, but alas in a more randomized form. But this more official version is tied to the ultimate hope is that the added chore will be an added deterrent to whatever behavior landed their little butts in time-out in the first place. But, really, we all know it's more than that. It's about less work for me. And 6-year-olds are at the perfect age for chores. While there are a few limits (no washing dishes, no mowing the lawn, no re-sodding the side yard), there are many that they are eligible for.

So we started this brilliant addition to the time-out habit and so far I am quite pleased. I can't say that the chores-addition has deterred too much of their undesirable behavior. They still whine. They still back-talk. But they also say things like "I hope I'm not gonna have to fold laundry!" But, really, what I'm quite pleased about it is that I am finding that I have less to do. I don't have to wipe down the bathroom counter. I don't have to clear the table after a meal. I don't have to sweep the kitchen floor. I don't have to make Fenton's bottles. And, yeah, I don't have to fold laundry.

One thing I was worried about, though, was creating this association between punishment and chores. I don't want my kids to hate doing chores. And I don't want them to only do chores as payment for acting out. I want them to like chores (as much as anyone could) and to do them because they need to do them.

Surprisingly (or maybe not surprisingly), the results have been encouraging. While the kids do make remarks about not wanting to fold laundry, I find that many times when the kids have done their chores, we all come out of it in a better mood, and dare I say happy? After Kestian wiped down the bathroom counters and I told him what a wonderful job he did, he just beamed.


When Adelaide was finished with cleaning the kitchen table and I told her that she did a great job, she kept looking for more to clean and finding crumbs I didn't know existed.


While we want the kids to learn to avoid things that land them in time-out, if they do get a T.O. they have an opportunity to contribute to the family and get some positive reinforcement. Which is also good for me, because I can only yell at them so much.

So I guess it's a win-win-win situation (aside from the actual getting in trouble part). The kids are learning some responsibility, they are taking pride in their work and feeling valued, and of course, most importantly, I have less work around the house.

I'm at the point now where I have to save things for them to do because, you know, they still get into trouble. No one can expect perfection. I'm sure 20 years from now when they read these posts, they'll have a slightly different take on this matter. And as far as Fenton goes, I guess it's never too early to start.

Bicycles and life cycles

I remember when I first learned to ride a bike. I was about eight years old. We were living in Hawaii and my brother had been taking me to the park down the street for months trying to teach me. We'd practice on the dry grass of the gently sloping hill near the pool as other kids would kick soccer balls or hang on the monkey bars. He'd hold the bike (that had no training wheels by the way!) and push me down the hill. These lessons, though, turned out to be more on how to fall off the bike and roll down the hill than actual bike riding per se, but it was all well-intentioned.

Still, despite all the practice, I never got the hang of it. At the same time, we were getting ready to move to California, so learning to ride a bike soon got put on hold indefinitely.

Flash forward to San Diego. As were were unpacking in our new home, we were out in the garage and I spotted my mom's bike. It was a mustard-yellow bike with a dignified bell to cover up the fact that any rider on it looked like a Muppet. Yes, it was awesome!

Ding! Ding!

I hopped on it and rolled down the driveway. Everything clicked. The rest is history.

See, I wasn't kidding! And yes, that really is me!

I never felt that learning to ride a bike at age eight was all that late or anything. Still, many people I know give their kids bikes at age four or five, which surprises me but maybe I'm out of touch. It has been known to happen. On occasion.

So anyhow, now that the kids are six, we are realizing that it may be about time to get them some regular bikes. Up until now, the kids have had these bikes...

Ack! This picture was taken in 2007. Look how cute they are!

which have lasted for years. We've been to the park several times this summer with these bikes, and it's becoming clear that they are getting too big for these. So yeah, it's probably about time for regular bikes. Only I'm reluctant to purchase any item larger than an iPhone before we (eventually) move. So I told the kids that they will have to wait and they will just have to make do. But that doesn't mean they aren't eagerly awaiting them. They talk about it every now and then, albeit sometimes in tandem with other random 6-year-old concerns.

On that note, I'll just leave you with a brief exchange between Damon and the kids yesterday:

Adelaide: Do you still know how to ride a bike?
Damon: Of course! Once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget.
Kestian: Until you die. You forget when you die.

Summertime (yeah, I couldn't think of something clever)

Ah...summer! The hot, long days of summer. Seems that we had a few random days of just the right temperature to open the windows before we switched on the AC again. But I like summer. I love the warm air. I love the long evenings. I love not having 17 coats in the back of the car.

And I love the Fourth of July. It's right up there with my favorite holidays, probably the other being Thanksgiving, because it's one of the least stressful and most enjoyable. I've written about this before, so I won't hash it all out again. And now that the kids are older, we can do more holiday stuff with them. This year we got to do several things with them that we've never done before.

Now every year, we go downtown to check out all the festivities. Sometimes one of us races in the 10k, but mostly we like to walk the streets of downtown Lexington and enjoy the sights and smells. This year we all went downtown, found an awesome parking spot in a nearby garage, and walked around. The kids begged us, as usual, for rides, but we didn't want to spend the money. We did find a place that was giving out free balloons, though. Free is good.


After a short while there, some raindrops spooked us into going home, which was just as well because we had a cake to decorate...(and eat)...


Mmmmm. Cake. But after lunch, we headed back out to see the parade. We've never seen the parade downtown before, because it has always been during the kids' naptime. You don't mess with naptime! But since the kids don't nap anymore, we thought why not!

Well, the parade was pretty much all you can expect for a city parade. Lot's of old people from the Lion's club, lots of radio stations trying to get just a little bit more attention, and lots of corvettes. What's the deal with the corvettes? Oh, yeah, and lots of politicians. I guess I haven't been to a parade in awhile, but it was really very commercial and political. What ever happened to marching bands and kids in wagons? I guess I'm out of touch.

We somehow sat through an hour of it before Fenton decided he wanted to go (which I'm amazed at because he sat there in his stroller for an hour!). Someone who passed by said the parade was three hours long. I could not fathom what more there was to see, so we told the kids during a "slow point" that it was over. Maybe the marching bands were still to come, but we weren't going to find out.

So the parade was fun enough. The kids weren't as horribly whiny as they could have been, and the annoying people who like to stand right in front of you to watch, blocking your view as you try to keep the sidewalk clear, and then give you what for when you ask them to move, were really not all that bad. I'm glad the kids got to see a parade for once.

By the way, Adelaide said she wants to be in a parade now. Hopefully, we'll be back East come the next Independence Day and the kids can be in one of the OC parades.

Now, one down-side to living where we live is that it gets dark late in the summer. Since we are a stone's throw from the edge of the time zone (Fact of the Day: KY has two time zones!), in the summer it's not really dark until about 10pm. This is definitely not something that parents like. (I don't even bother trying to get Fenton to sleep until after 9 since it's so freakin bright out.) But it also means that fireworks don't start around here until after 10. We've never taken the kids to see the fireworks because it's hours after their bedtime. Until we'd see the fireworks, walk back to the car, drive home, and get ready for bed it could easily be 11:30 or midnight. Yeah...I'm not staying up until midnight with cranky, tired children.

But last night, the kids went to bed around 8/8:30 like usual, and I started getting Fenton to bed around 9. When I took Fenton up to the office where I've been getting him to sleep since it's dark and quiet, the kids notified me that they were staying up until 10 to see fireworks.

The thought never crossed my mind before, but maybe the kids could see some fireworks, at least on TV. They've never done that either, and they could be in bed around 10 still. So I mentioned (aka texted) to Damon that the kids wanted to stay up, to which I could hear him running away, yelling "No, no, no, no, no, no..." or something that involved his dead body. I dunno. It was late.

But between 9:06 when the kids made this proclamation, and 9:27 when Fenton fell asleep, Adelaide also fell asleep. Hmmm...Do I wake her up, and risk Grumpy Adelaide, or do I just let Kestian watch, and risk It's Not Fair Adelaide? Or do we just try again next year and risk I Wanna See Them Kestian?

I was at the point of pushing it back to next year, when Kestian announced that he could see fireworks in the skylight in his room. He was totally excited. Ok, ok,... so I woke up Adelaide and all of us climbed in to my bed and we watched the Macy's fireworks on TV.

"Is this happening now?" "Is this real?" "Is that the Statue of Liberty?" Why do they only keep showing the hand of the Statue of Liberty?" "Is that New York?" "What's that flashy thing in the corner of the screen?" "Is that supposed to be a torch?" "Can we be in a parade next year?" "Why do they keep showing the same guy over and over?" The questions never stopped.

Soon the show was over and we migrated to the bedroom window to see fireworks outside. I'm not sure if we were seeing downtown, or just people shooting a lot of fireworks off in their yards (the laws changed this year and people can buy lots more fireworks than before) but we watched for awhile until the kids complained that they were tired. Yes, we were all tired, but it was a good tired.

Even though we had a fairly decent day, it was all a bit bittersweet. Yet another holiday that we are here and our family is elsewhere. Seeing Facebook updates of my cousins at the shore only reminded me how some of my cousins see my parents more than I do. It's days like this that I'm ready to pack up and move.

Soon, Laura, soon.

I do not want to be my child's friend, I want to be their parent

Today, Kestian is a little tired and grumpy (see Laura's upcoming post!), which makes him difficult to deal with sometimes. Adelaide, however, has been really well behaved, but I think it is for fear of punishment (timouts now come with doing additional chores immediately afterwards, and she now openly talks about wanting to avoid that). So after a morning of drawing (and making books; their idea, don't ask), listening to music, reading about polar and grizzly bears, doing some workbooks, and some free play, Kestian's ability to not melt down over little things was exhausted. TV it is! (only educational, of course. Seriously.)

This brings me to something I've been thinking about for awhile, but only recently put into words. Some people like having kids because it is fun and some people don't like having kids because it is not fun. But for me it all boils down to this:

Having children is not fun. Having kids is rewarding.

Even on days that it is all full of stress and bustle, I look at my kids at the end of the day and am only glad that I have them. It is like a hard workout or a run where you push yourself beyond your limit; it isn't fun per se, but dammit if it isn't rewarding that you did it.

This isn't to say that having kids is inherently not fun, because there are many many times where it actually is. I don't try to have fun with my kids, I try to make the best decisions about raising them and sometimes that results in fun. But the fun times are gravy; the real reward is raising little pieces of yourself who are their own people.