Take for example a recent exchange between them (in a light, airy, sing-song tone):
Adelaide: Whatcha eatin'?
Kestian: A piece o' chocolate
Adelaide: Where'd ya get it?
Kestian: A donkey dropped it
Now...they don't seem to be aware of the feces-ingesting insinuation, but just think it's fun to say. I actually think it's fun to say too, and find myself often saying, "Hey Adelaide...whatcha eatin'?" followed by a rousing exchange of comedic donkey poop humor. [I was informed later that the appropriate reply was really "A doggie dropped it" which I guess is still funny...]
Why am I always the butt of some joke?This is not something I ever remember from my childhood. But this seems to be one of those playground-spread sillies. But, at the same time, they often come home with things I did learn from friends as a kid. Whether it be knock-knock jokes or that weird and endless hand-slapping pattern that girls do until their interest is quickly replaced with boys, they often come to me with something "new" that I remember doing ages ago.
However, the whole Cheese Touch thing I just don't get. I had to look it up on Wikipedia and apparently it's a Diary of a Wimpy Kid thing. It's not a book my kids have read, but they still know all about it - or think they do. They tried to explain to me the "rules" about whether one's fingers are crossed at the time or whatever. I'm not really sure I understand. I'm not sure I care too.
(Interestingly, the author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Jeff Kinney - went to the University of MD while Damon and I went there, and wrote a strip in the school paper called Igdoof. Damon still has his book and makes Igdoof references on a fairly frequent basis. Hey Jeff - if you are reading this through some Google Alert, give us a shout in our Comments and PLEASE send my husband an autographed Igdoof!!! Your publicist totally ignored me. Surely you don't want to ignore your earliest fans!)
Ah yes, back in the day when Social Security Numbers were used as Student IDs...Anyway, speaking of fun childhood things, the kids are now in summer camp. I found probably the cheapest deal I could ($50/2 weeks/kid X 8 weeks = $400 for the kids to be taken care of all summer!) through the Lexington Parks and Rec. It's Camp Kenwick. Damon and I were concerned that it would be more like Camp Crapwick - one of those you-get-what-you-pay-for deals. The first day we dropped them off we met with the Director and toured the facility. I felt better when we left, but Damon didn't. However, they seem to actually have a fairly organized and decent program. The kids are sorted into groups by age and have a counselor that takes them through various activities, such as arts, computer, playground, games, and whatever else. After their first day, the kids said they had a ton of fun. Damon kept prodding, however, saying "You can tell us if there was anything you didn't like" to which Kestian replied incredulously "Why would you think we wouldn't like it?!"
I just want to know if there will be a hot-dog eating contestNow, with camp also comes pool days. Going to the pool is one of those childhood rites-of-passage. I remember swimming from probably their age, and have always loved it. We've taken the kids to swim lessons a few times, and they enjoy the pool, but let's all be honest here: they can't swim. Now I don't consider myself an over-protective parent, but still I'm not comfortable with some things. The kids have to hold my hands when we cross the street, they aren't allowed to play outside by themselves, and only recently have we let them use real butter knives.
If only the bubble wrap wasn't full of bubbles that they would popYou have to remember that they are 6. Not 12. I'm sure when they are 12 we'll let them do a few more things. Like laundry. And dishes. And clean the toilets. Oh man, I can't WAIT! Wouldn't that be AWESOME!!!! I mean, to not have to clean all the time? So much of my life would be freed up! Ok, ok... Deep breath. Calm down, Laura...
Back to the pool thing. So yeah, the kids get to go to the pool twice a week with camp. Knowing that my kids can't swim, and knowing that my kids probably think they can swim, I went out and bought them each a life jacket. I had visions of them being let loose in a crazy huge pool with a thousand other kids and 2 teeny-bopper life guards more concerned with their tans than my children's survival. I instructed them over and over that they HAVE to wear their life jackets at all times - no exceptions. We went over rules for sunblock and sticking together, and again about the jackets. I was going to at least pretend that my kids would follow my rules and not just get caught up in all the fun and action at the pool that drives kids to do dangerous things. Like run. And jump in head first. And drown.
Yeah... I said it. Drown. Aside from fires, and car crashes, and cancer, drowning is right up there on my list of biggest fears. And if I wasn't going to be there to make sure they wouldn't down, I was going to send them with something that would at least theoretically take care of it for me. A proxy, if you will. So off I sent them, listening to them promising to wear their jackets, and hoping and praying that it was all ok.
When I picked them at the end of the day, the counselors came up to us and asked us if the kids had to wear the jackets. Come to find out that the pool they were in was probably 2-3 feet at its deepest. Shallow enough that they can touch the bottom. The counselors said they were right there in the pool with them, and the kids got pink bands on them which meant that they were not allowed in the big (deep) pool. After a few more questions, we decided that the jackets did not seem needed. And apparently, our kids were the only kids there who even brought jackets. When I first heard that, I felt a little foolish for sending them, but then I thought "Did all these other parents just think it was all fine? Did no one else think they might need to send additional safety precautions? Did everyone else just trust the counselors and life guards?" Well, whatever. We'll save the jackets for boating and the beach - so no waste there.
Who wouldn't trust their children's safety with a lifeguard?So summer is full on! The kids are enjoying camp. I'm enjoying my new job (except for the ants on my desk). All we need now is to sell the house, find another house, pack, move, unpack, and we're good to go! Easy-peasy!*
*Yet another thing I never said as a kid, but my kids say ALL the time.
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