Why do I bother?

I'm on a roll today! Three posts in one day is very uncommon, but hey, what can I say?

This last post for the evening is more about gaining sympathy from my audience. To see what I have to deal with, all the time. Poor Laura...

You see, every day the house is a mess. All week long it crescendos into something I just can't handle any more. Any one with kids can surely relate. But, again, this is about ME! Poor Laura...

So after a week of tripping over toys and cursing all things Fisher-Price, I usually give in to the chaos and try to tame it as best as I can. I clean for hours, only to find the cycle to repeat in days, sometimes hours...

So for your edification, I present to you before and after pictures of "The House" (apparently featuring Adelaide):


Notice there is no "After" picture of the kitchen. Yeah...one can only do so much. And so it goes...

Party time!

In all the chaos that is our current lives, it's that time of year to celebrate our children's advancement of age. I'm sure I'll post some sappy, teary-eyed post later this week as I reminisce about the kids and how they are still my babies and blah blah blah, but not today!

Yes, the kids are about to turn 5. We asked them what they wanted to do for their birthday, and eventually we all agreed on a birthday party at the Explorium. The kids had their birthday there last year and it was pretty successful, so we booked it again.

I was determined to make this year's party planning much less stressful than last year, and was pretty successful. But one change I did decide on was making our own cakes for the party (rather than the cupcakes from the store). Of course we didn't bake the cakes until Friday night, and the party was Saturday, so it was a bit crazy.

I thought I had a plan: bake the cakes Friday night, decorate them Saturday morning. And it all went "pretty much" according to plan. The kids helped make the cakes, with Kestian wanting a white cake, and Adelaide wanting a chocolate cake:


Then came Saturday morning. Sadly I have no pictures to document the train wreck, but, yes, it wasn't pretty. The main problem was the cakes didn't bake "flat." I baked Kestian's in a rectangular pan that I hoped to cut in half to stack into a more square cake. Adelaide's was two round cakes, also to be stacked. Adelaide's was actually not too bad, as I could fill in the major gaps with just more frosting. In the end, after she decorated it, we had this:


Not too bad.

Kestian's cake, well it was just a mess. No amount of frosting could hide the damage. I ended up having to take it all apart, slicing off the top of each half to make it flat, and reassembling it. Thank goodness I had an extra can of frosting. There were several moments where I was just ready to head to Kroger, but somehow, some how, it all came together and we ended up with this:


Amazing. Truly amazing, if you had seen what it looked like before, you would certainly give me the Martha Stewart award.

Ok, cakes done, we headed off to the party. I'll spare you my jibber-jabber for the rest of the post and just leave you with pictures....

It's not a clown car

We have always been able to think of dozens of reasons why to NOT have another baby. Things like:

• Been there done that
• We already have two wonderful kids, why have any more?
• Adelaide

But seriously, one of the most realistic, and stressful, reasons has always had to do with transportation. We are a one-car family. And we drive a relatively small car: a Toyota Matrix...


We got this car before we had the kids, and it's not quite the car I would recommend to anyone with twins. Yes, we managed to get a double-stroller in it with a whole load of groceries, but it was not easy. We made do, though.

But now that we are blessed again, we have had a real dilemma. Where to put Jr? In fact, this issue has always hampered the upcoming event. Surely, three kids = minivan (or at least some bigger car). I mean, look at how things are now:


Not exactly packed in like sardines, but clearly no room for an infant seat.

So we went down the minivan road. We got our financing. We test drove different models. We made offers to dealers. But the money... Oh, the money. We just bought a house people! Not like we have a lot of cash floating around. Where, exactly, is this car payment going to come from? I did a budget for the year, and by cutting out this and that, I think we found a way to swing it. But while the budget looked OK, I wasn't convinced (especially when looking at my checkbook!). There must be another way.

Finally I said screw the minivan, let's just look at ANYTHING that will fit 3 kids. The RAV4 seemed to be one option. Maybe a few other cars... But there was still the matter of a car payment.

So after several people said "It can be done!" and in my desperation to find another way... any other way... to avoid a car payment right now, I hit the Internet, and I hit it hard. I looked at the exact measurements of our backseat, and what combination of 3 car seats could fit back there. At one point someone asked me "What about booster seats (for the kids)?" Hmmmm. I hadn't even thought about that. The booster seats are smaller. The kids meet the age (4yrs) and height (40 inches) requirement, but are just shy of the weight requirement (40 pounds), but really pretty close. Close enough, I say!

A trip to Babies R Us and LOOK AT US NOW BABYYYYY!


Yes, that is the kids in their new booster seats, and an infant seat in the middle! Hahahaha! No minivan! No car payments! No quiet drives! But hey, that's how we like it!

This whole "new car thing" has been weighing so heavily on us for sooo long, that even though we solved the problem, I still feel stressed about it. I just can't believe we can get everyone in! But, as it continues to sink in, I keep thinking, "We are sooo awesome!"

Aglio e Olio

Tonight I’m trying the kids on aglio e olio again, and hoping they like it enough to put it back in the rotation. We tried it with them about a year and a half ago, but Kestian was even worse about trying new things back then (if you can imagine that), so we do look forward to seeing if he’ll eat it tonight.

Back before we had kids we would eat this all the time, but Laura informs me that I never really called it by its real name back then (I guess I’m more confident in my Italian now). It is a nice, easy dish that I didn’t quite grow up with. Sure, we had some sort of variant of it with anchovies on Christmas Eve or whatever, and it isn’t like it is a real recipe or anything (basically put some oil and garlic on pasta), but once I was on my own I tended to make this every so often.

There are many different variants of the spelling and pronunciation of the dish (since Italian is my second language, not my first, I’ll tend to pronounce straight up ‘proper Italian’ like) and there are even more different takes on the recipe. I, personally, don’t like chili pepper or black pepper with it, but like to put some onion with the garlic and add a few capers when tossing (but Laura doesn’t like capers, ruining everything). I go with oregano but not parsley (though I have no great objection to parsley). For cheese, I’ve seen some people say Romano is good for it, but I think any pecorino cheese is too strong and that Parmigiano-Reggiano is absolutely perfect for it.

So I write the first part of this before I cook it and serve it. Wish me luck!





I didn’t have any onion (well, I did have some in the fridge, but it was bad) and the capers were old (those would have been for mine only), but otherwise I had everything (because it is so difficult to find olive oil, garlic, oregano, cheese, and pasta!). The pasta was mini fusilli because I actually didn’t have any spaghetti or long noodles (we usually have different shaped pasta, but rarely ever spaghetti, which is odd). I think it turned out really well.

The kids, however…..Kestian ate the cheese off and didn’t really want to try any (or eat any of the canned carrots because he wanted ‘crunchy carrots’). Adelaide was overly dramatic and started to spit it out before it even got into her mouth. She swore up and down that she didn’t like it upon seeing it and put on an obviously acted dislike during her four bites of it. Sure, she might not have liked it, but her behavior belied her making a decision before trying it. So both kids barely tried it and neither of them really ate any.

Freaking kids…..

Baby Update

Here's the latest and greatest on the Orsetti Baby Boy front:

• We're at 31 (almost 32) weeks now. Two months to go!!!
• Baby is measuring about 4 lbs, 2 0z (which is the weight Adelaide was born at 33 weeks).
• All looks on track for the VBAC so far. That is to say, nothing is ruling it out at this point.
• I now outweigh Damon.

Obviously we have no idea what Damon Jr will look like, but judging by the latest ultrasound, he looks a lot like Gollum, only cuter.



Now, according to this one website, if you combine Damon and me, you should get something like this:


Ummm.. A little bit "alien" with that forehead and totally unlikely that he will have light eyes, but interesting...

Just for fun, I did a morph of the kids' baby pictures, and this is what I got:


Damon says there's no way he'll have red hair, but it's interesting that this came up because I've been saying that if he has red hair, we will have a trifecta. That would be so awesome!

I redid it again and got this:


Very interesting. I could almost imagine this. But I think in the end he will look a lot like Kestian, but with dark hair.

What do you think? And have you entered the Official Baby Boy Orsetti pool? It closes in a few days!

What will they remember?

If our kids are anything like Damon, they will remember a lot from their childhood. Damon has memories back from when he was two, things that weren't in pictures or weren't necessarily told to him - like the floor plan of where he lived, or stealing bananas from the kitchen. My earliest memory is probably from when I was 3 and about to move from Virginia to Hawaii, sleeping in a room full of boxes while a thunderstorm raged outside.

I don't know what the typical age is for kids to establish concrete memories, but I get the sense that my kids have almost, if not the same, kind of early memory retention. We lived in our "Cove Lake" house until they were 3, then moved to "Mildara" until they were 4, and now are at our new house. They still talk about things we did at our "old old house" (i.e. Cove Lake), let alone our "old house" (i.e. Mildara). They can remember things like toys they played with, getting their finger pinched in a door, or even some of how the house was set up (what is it with kids and floor plans?).

As they are about to turn 5 (holy crap! FIVE!) I often wonder what memories they are carrying with them already. Memories that they will one day look back on and share with their kids. Will the good memories carry forward? Will they remember the forts we made? The games we played? Will they remember their toys? Their birthday parties?

When I think back to my parents when I was around 5, I can only remember good things. I remember my Mom coloring with me. I remember going on walks with my Dad. I remember a birthday party where my Mom made a cake like this:


I remember playing outside with no shoes on, and going to the pool or the beach all the time.

Were the times always as good as I remember them? What do my kids think of their childhood so far? Heck, I even asked Kestian lately, "So how's your childhood going so far?" to which he blankly looked back at me. I was serious, but he didn't know what to say. "Good" was his eventual response - the same response when I ask him about his day at school.

As I continue this job as "Mom" (which , by the way, it seems my contract has been renewed yet again for another year) I hope that they remember the good things, while learning the skills they need for this world. As I guide them through life, I hope they remember the hugs and kisses, the walks in the park, the trips to the shore, the books we read, the introduction of their baby brother. I hope they remember a wonderful childhood.

June 2007 - at the "old, old house"

More growing-up-ness

I've alluded to it before. My kids are somehow growing up. They told me this might happen. Am I prepared for it? No. But people keep shoving it in my face that time is passing and the kids are older. My attempts to slow down time have been ignored.

Yes, I am talking about kindergarten (although I might as well be talking about their upcoming birthday....but that's for another post). After the whole Maxwell debacle, we have been even less than excited about the kids starting this new phase come this fall. But recently it was time to register them for school. I dutifully got together their birth certificates, shot records, and proof of where we live and we trudged over to the "school" that they will be attending. I say "school" only because it's not Maxwell.. Yes, I'm still working through my bitterness.


But actually it may turn out to be OK. Not as is in "they'll at least get some Spanish classes there" OK (because they don't - I checked). But as in it seems like they are ready and it's probably a good thing. The office people were very nice as we filled out form after form until our hands cramped (why don't they have the forms online to download and fill out ahead of time??) and answered all of our questions. We were there at lunch, and the cafeteria was behind the office so we could see all of the kids sitting at the tables eating, occasionally blocked by the rows of single-file children walking by. I was overwhelmed with the cuteness of it all. This is where they will learn new things, make new friends, become "people"! Wow.... But enough of all that. They are still my babies...

So included in the packet of materials we got from the school was this list of items the kids will be assessed for before they start school. I found it very interesting. Here is the list:

READING

• When shown the letters of the alphabet, the child will be asked to name as many as they know.
• When shown the letters of the alphabet, the child will be asked to make the sounds of as many as they can.
  
• The child will be given two words, such as mop and top, and asked if they rhyme.
• When given one word, the child will be asked to name another word that rhymes.
• When given a word, the child will be asked to identify the beginning sound of the word and say another word that begins with the same sound.
• The child will be asked to write their first name.

MATH

• The child will be asked to count aloud from 1 to 20.
• When shown the numbers from 1 to 20, the child will be asked to name as many as they know.
• The child will be asked to identify the following colors: black, white, pink, red, yellow, blue, purple, gray, orange, and green.
• When given a group of objects, the child will be asked to count them.
• The child will be asked to identify the following shapes: square, triangle, circle, rectangle, oval, and diamond/rhombus.
• When given objects of various sizes, the child will be asked to identify the smallest and largest.
• When given three or more sets of objects, the child will be asked to identify which group has the fewest, the most, or the same amount.
• When given a set of objects, the child will be asked to sort them by color, shape, and size.
• When given a simple pattern, the child will be asked, "What comes next?"
• The child will be asked to write the number 1 to 10.

I wasn't aware that the schools did these assessments, but I can see why they would. This is the big leagues now, right? All in all, I think the kids will do great. As far as the reading section goes, they know their alphabet, they understand rhyming, they can identify the beginning sound of a word, and they know how to write their names.

For the math, they can count to 100 (and to 20 in Italian), so that should not be a problem. I'm not sure they can write all the numbers, and still often confuse 2 with 5 and 6 with 9, so that may be their weak spot. They know their colors (although I'm not sure what that has to do with "math") and their shapes. And as far as counting objects and recognizing which group of something has more or less...uh...you know we have twins right? 'Nuff said. And patterns? Yeah, we do that all the time too. Not just as in "circle, circle, square, circle, circle, _______", but it has gotten more abstract with them. Last night, in an effort to resolve a conflict over music at bedtime, Kestian offered: "I have an idea. Let's do a pattern! We have music tonight, then no music tomorrow night, then music, no music, music, no music." Awesome.

I know every parent thinks their kids are so smart (I, of course, know that mine are :) ), but I'm really just happy to see this list and know just how much my kids know already. I know I bring it up every now and then about how the kids were pre-term, especially when talking about this pregnancy, but really I don't think of them that way. They have always been developmentally on target or even ahead in some things. As I look at this list, I just feel more reaffirmed that my kids are "normal." Of course, I think of them as more than just "normal", but that they are normal in this basic assessment comforts me. If they are going to have to grow-up, at least I can see that they are doing a pretty good job of it so far.

Yes...that is a phone book they are "reading"...

My four year olds know more dinosaurs than you do!

Every Saturday and Sunday I have to be sure to wake the kids up by 8:30. Never later! Why? Because Dinosaur Train comes on then, of course. Adelaide enjoys it, but Kestian LOVES it. Then after filling their brains with dinosaur facts (and their bodies with breakfast) the kids take over all the computers in the house and go to pbskids.org and play games and watch videos all morning.

Kestian, of course, will get on the Dinosaur Train site and watch videos over and over, often his most favorite: Dinosaurs A to Z. The kids know the words to this song pretty well now, and apparently can sing just about all of it, while running in circles no less...



Anymore, when Kestian throws out something like: "Mom, where is my parasaurolophus?" I don't think much of it. Don't all kids ask that?

In case you want the words to the song, you can read them here:

“Dinosaurs A to Z”
Lyrics by Mike Himelstein and Craig Bartlett
A - APATOSAURUS [uh-PAT-uh-SAWR-us]
B - BRACHIOSAURUS [BRAK-ee-oh-SAWR-us]
C - CORYTHOSAURUS [kuh-RITH-oh-SAWR-us]
D - DEINONYCHUS! [die-NON-ih-kus]
E - EINIOSAURUS [eye-nee-oh-SAWR-us]
F - FABROSAURUS [fab-roh-SAWR-us]
G - GAL-LIMIMUS! [GAL-ih-MIME-us]
H - HADROSAURUS [had-roh-SAWR-us]
I - IGUANODON [ih-GWAN-oh-don]
J - JAXARTOSAURUS [jak-SAHR-toh-SAWR-us]
Everybody!
It’s time for a chorus!
CHORUS:
Hey hey hey
Come along with me
KIDS: CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO
This is how we memorize
Dinosaurs A to Z
Now where were we?
K - KENTROSAURUS [ken-truh-SAWR-us]
L - LAMBEOSAURUS [lam-bee-oh-SAWR-us]
M - MEGALOSAURUS [MEG-uh-loh-SAWR-us]
N - NODOSAURUS! [no-dah-SAWR-us]
O - ORNITHOMIMUS [or-NITH-uh-MIME-us]
P - PARASAUROLOPHUS [PAR-uh-saw-ROL-oh-fus]
Q - QANTASSAURUS [KWAN-tuh-SAWR-us]
R - RHABDODON! [RAB-duh-don]
S - STEGOSAURUS [steg-uh-SAWR-us]
T - TYRANNOSAURUS [tie-RAN-oh-SAWR-us]
What time is it?
KIDS: Time for the chorus!
CHORUS
Give me a
U - ULTRARAPTOR [ul-tra-RAP-tor]
V - VELOCIRAPTOR [veh-LOSS-ih-RAP-tor]
W - W? WANNANOSAURUS [wah-NON-uh-SAWR-us]
X - XENOTARSOSAURUS [zee-noh-TAR-soh-SAWR-us]
Y - YANGCHUANOSAURUS [YANG-choo-wan-oh-SAWR-us]
Z - ZIGONGOSAURUS [zee-GONG-oh-SAWR-us]
And Zigongosaurus
Gets us to the chorus!
CHORUS

The Rival Orsetti Websites

As you know, I own orsetti.com (which some of you use to get here) which we use for more pictures of the kids and general family stuff. I wanted the domain name for years, but someone was cyber squatting on it and charging a couple hundred dollars for it. There was no way I was paying that, though I did contemplate it for quite some time (it is odd that Orsetti seed never snapped it up). Instead I just bided my time and waited for the rights to the domain name to expire and see if they re-upped for another year or so. I think this was for a couple years I did this, but one day I checked (on the precise day it expired) and it was open! I snapped that up as fast as I freaking could, you better believe it. I don’t know if they just forgot to renew the registration or just let it drop because no one was interested, but either way, I’ve had it for years and I will NEVER give it up. People can offer me thousands of dollars, but the fact that I own my own last name as a domain name is just too damn awesome.

When I bought the rights (and even before that), I had the opportunity to buy orsetti.org and orsetti.net but chose not to get them. I mean, if you can’t get the .com, then what is the point? I chose not to get them, and I don’t regret it at all, but in the meantime others have bought the rights to them and put stuff up. Interesting…rival Orsetti websites…

So here is my brief review of each website!

Orsetti.net

Fail! Geeze, put a little effort into it. Sure, it looks slick, but it is only a little thing saying “Welcome to Orsetti.net, We haven’t done anything yet!” Yeah, I know people need time to think something up, but at least put a little something up! And what is with the cheesy wispy graphics at the top? How is that Orsetti-esque? To call this site a ‘rival’ Orsetti site is an insult and an outrage. Their closest rival is going to bed early and not remembering any of your dreams.

Orsetti.org

Oooh, much more stuff. I always thought the .org sites were supposed to be non-profit, but this was never enforced. Just quick glancing at this, it looks like they put some time and effort into it, so you KNOW they are bitter over missing out on getting orsetti.com. Sucks to be you!

This is actually interesting to read. Apparently, their Orsetti roots are from Toscana, not the Marchigiani Orsetti roots of mine.

Whoah, they have an extensive family tree too! In color! I’m impressed, especially with the fact that LeRoy Orsetti got married three times (with a name like LeRoy, I’m surprised anyone ever took him seriously.) I’m gonna spend a few minutes just going through the names, because that’s the type of thing I do. Lots of Giovanni Orsettis there, plus Diane Orsetti who isn’t my mom. Wow, an Italo Amerigo Orsetti. Really! I’m sure it sounded clever when they thought of it, but I think it is cheesy. Virgilio Orsetti, now THAT is a cool name, though I doubt Laura would go for it (he’d be called ‘Virginio’ anyway, which sucks). Overall, it is neat, except every page has a mark on the bottom that reminds us that it was made on a Mac…gee, thanks for telling us!

Photo albums! I feel sorta like a peeping tom going through people’s personal photo albums (unless there is nudity or bikinis, then I’m hitting the download button), but maybe I’ll browse later. They have a paragraph in Latin which I’m sure my high school Latin teacher is ashamed that I won’t even try to translate. Again, despite the “Made on a Mac” mark at the bottom, I give it a thumbs up.

A “Picnic” tab. Wow, there is an Orsetti and Marchy family picnic, because two sibs of one family married two sibs of another. Interesting, because my Orsetti ancestry (and most of them according to the distribution of the name in modern Italy) are from Le Marche, which sort of sounds like Marchy! Weak and lame, I know. But it is was started by Diane Orsetti! My own mother started it but refused to ever tell me about it! I’m insulted! There is also some video which I haven’t watched yet, and an announcement about it being in Lodi this year. All I think about when I hear Lodi is the CCR song, I wonder if they hate that song or appreciate it?

A “Movie” tab, with more Latin (I guess I’ll have to find a translator on the Google for that) and what could be the same movie as the previous page. I haven’t watched either one, so I don’t know. Maybe when I have more time…

Oh, my hopes were dashed once I clicked on the ‘Blog’ tab. I was impressed with the rest of the site (did you know it was made using a Mac?), but this part just sucks. First, it isn’t a blog at all! It is simply a list of changes made to the site. Second, the only entries were from a three month stretch last year. Lame. They tease me with a blog and deliver nothing. I wonder if they know you can update a blog using a Mac.

Overall, I’m impressed with the orsetti.org folks and disappointed in the abortion that is the orsetti.net folks. There certainly aren’t that many Orsettis out there, so let’s make sure that those that are on the Internet look good, ok?

Oh, and Latin adds a cool factor to things. I just hope they pronounce it correctly and not like church Latin.

A lesson in statistics

I read an interesting article today on the Internet: "When is your chubby baby too chubby?" My first thought was "Ha! That's certainly not a problem we have" being that our kids are almost 5 and are still hovering around 35 pounds, and have always been in the low weight percentiles since the day they were born (see growth charts). Overweight babies have never been a concern for us.

Except actually it has. Certainly their skinniness has something to do with genetics, but also hopefully a lot to do with how we approach food. Now the article talks about a recent study that found that "the critical period for preventing childhood obesity...is during the first two years of a child's life and for many by three months of age." It talks about when weight problems develop and the relationship between an overweight baby and how predictive it is for being an overweight adult.

It went on to talk about the problems when parents overfeed their babies, and I kept thinking "Right on!" I can't tell you how many babies I've seen forced to finish their bottle for no other reason than the parents want them to finish their bottle - often 12 oz or more! The look of repulsion on their faces as the bottle is forced in, how they keep turning their heads away as if to say "Stop! I've had enough!" meanwhile the oblivious parent keeps shoving it in, encouraging Jr. with "Just a wittle bit more, my chubby wubby baby!" or "Aren't you hungwy any more, my little shmoopy?" And then the parent wonders why the baby spits up half of it when they are done. Wouldn't you if you were so full? Blech!

I've been a life-long member of camp let-the-baby-decide-when-and-how-much-to-eat. They need to (and are able to) discern when they are full and when to stop eating, what hungry feels like and when to ask for food. In other words, they should be eating based on their body's cues rather than the time on a clock. This "skill" carries on into adulthood, as we have seen that the adult who eats when he is hungry and stops when he is full is the adult who has less problems with obesity. Now, like anything, there are some circumstances (like when babies are born so premature that they can't even cry - not like I know anything about that!) when parents do have to decide when the baby eats. But for a normal, healthy baby scheduled feeding is more about the parents than the baby, and like so many other parent-convenient choices I see out there, it really irritates me. (Damon thinks we should start a blog called "Common Sense Parenting" where we can talk about all the juicy topics like crib tents and crying-it-out and spanking - you know all the stupid things parents do... But would anyone read it?)

But that is neither here nor there. What really amuses me about the article were all the defensive comments. It was filled with "Well, my son was blah blah blah" and "In my experience, my kids were blah blah blah" and "I'm not putting my baby on a diet blah blah blah." I guess I too often forget that many people just don't get statistics. Hello! Statistics are about general trends, not specific examples. I'll say it again, because most people really don't get this: Statistics are about general trends in the population, not about what happens to you!

Now, I'm not a big expert in stats, but I've taken a few courses in it and am married to a scientist who lives and breathes it. Our car rides home are often filled with statistical lessons on elections, education, poverty, or the chances that our kids will get into Maxwell. But maybe that's just us.

So reading all these comments I really shouldn't have been surprised that everyone took it so personally. But why does it frustrate me anyway? Don't these people understand that the study is trying to point out that such-and-such may happen in such-and-such circumstances. Statistics are not (and never have been) about absolute cause and effect. Yes, you may never wear your seat belt and not get hurt in a car accident, but the general trend is that if you get into a car accident and you are not wearing a seat belt you are more likely to get hurt. You may overfeed your baby and she may never be fat as an adult, but the study shows that there can be a relationship between the two. And isn't that worth noting?

But really, I hear this reactive-reasoning all the time... "I smoked and I never got cancer." "I never went to the dentist and I've never had a cavity." Good for you. But what happens to you is not the point. You can't extrapolate from a sample size of one. And I see this reasoning come up all the time in parenting. "I was formula-fed and I turned out just fine." "I let my baby cry-it-out and he's none the worse." True. Maybe... How do you really know? What are you comparing it to? If you were to statistically compare it to the rest of the population, would you think differently? Would you do differently?

As someone who will be a "new mom" for the second time, I've been taking a long look at what I did the first time around, trying not to see if it's the best based on what worked "for me" but what seems to be the best for my baby: I will breastfeed my child for at least a year, I will not circumcise him, I will happily "wear" him in sling as much as he wants, I will not take away his bottle just because he turned one, I will not put him in a crib, I will never let him cry-it-out, etc. Yes these decisions are based on my personal experience, but they are my personal experience because I chose to do them because research has shown all these things to be advantageous to my baby.

And that, I think, is what is important to keep in mind as we make decisions as parents when looking at articles like this. Whether the topic is safety or nutrition or discipline, we need to look at the bigger picture before we focus on ourselves. To look at what is best for the child, rather than what is easiest/most convenient for the parent. To consider future implications based on what happens in general. It is when we are in this state of mind that I think we can truly be a good parent.

Wondering what he'll be like

When we got our last ultrasound and saw the little guy in Laura’s belly, it really struck me how much he looked like Kestian. I know it is hard to really tell, but with his eyes closed he looked like Kestian when he is asleep (yeah yeah yeah, kids look alike anyway, whatever). But it really got me wondering.

So I sat there and though what he would look like (let’s, for the sake of this post, call him Ezekiel, or Little Zeke for short). I don’t know what type of hair will be on top of Zeke, but Adelaide hopes it is dark like hers. Kestian has blonde hair, and perhaps Zeke will be born covered in yellow hair like his brother. Zeke will be really little when he comes out, but not as small as our other kids since he’ll be full term (we hope) and a singleton. But Zeke will grow and grow with time, and soon he’ll be Big Zeke, all upright and pointing to everything that interests him. I wonder how big my Zeke will get? Will he be bigger than me? When we go out will everyone stop to look at try to touch Zeke? I hope not, because he might spit up on them after that.

I think I will enjoy playing with Zeke, but I think watching Laura playing with Zeke (holding him, giving him kisses) will give me the most happiness.

30 weeks

I haven't taken a belly pic for a while now, and now that I am looking at it: Holy Crap! I'm freakin' huge! Notice how my "gut girth" is pushing Kestian out of the way. I mean I know that I've been getting bigger, but even last night I was starting to wonder if maybe I'm not getting as big as I should by now. But ... wow ... I didn't know I was this big! Damon's been making fun of me lately, pointing out (in his sweet and caring way) that I have similarities to some beer-drinking truck drivers. Now I know why...

And of course now I am entering the phase where the baby really starts to put on weight - eventually up to 1/2 pound a week. Folks, with 10 weeks still to go, I think we are going to have a big baby. Should make birthing fun.

Speaking of which - has everybody entered the Official Baby Boy Orsetti Pool? I'll be closing it soon, so get your guesses in now!

The Play

The kids' class at daycare performed their version of "The Mitten" and "The Hat" by Jan Brett. This is their first play and I was surprised at actually how non-chaotic it was. Everyone did a good job. Kestian and Adelaide were in the second act (The Hat) and played a dog and a pony, respectively. Below are some videos I captured from the event. Kudos to the teachers who tirelessly worked with the kids on it!



This first song is sung to the tune of "High-Ho-The-Dairy-Oh," and goes something like this:
The (animal: mole, rabbit, hedgehog, owl, badger, fox, bear, mouse) snuggles in
The (animal) snuggles in
High-Ho It's cold outside
The (animal) snuggles in...



This next song is sung to the tune of "Where, Oh Where, Has My Little Dog Gone" and goes something like this:
Where, oh where, have my new mittens gone
Oh where, oh where, can they be
I looked up high, and I looked down low
Oh where, oh where can they be



This was "The Hat" part of the play, where they acted out the story...



This final song was sung to the tune of "Wheels On The Bus" and goes something like:
The mittens on my hands keep me warm
Keep me warm
Keep me warm
The mittens on my hands keep me warm
All winter long

Progress

Well folks, we are just about at 30 weeks. What a hurdle that is, at least to me. Of course, assuming the baby goes full-term, I've still got 10 more weeks. But that's fine. It's not like I want another pre-term baby. And the more time to prepare the better.

Anyhow, the most recent visit to the OB has everything lookin' good.

• Cervix: good! ("Better than ever" was his comment. You hear that Captain Bed Rest?! Screw you!)
  
• Glucose levels: good!
• Iron levels: good!
• Baby's development: good!

Yeah, so everything looks great and I don't have to back for 2 more weeks (2 weeks between visits is standard at this point). The baby is still head-down, so that's good too.

Meanwhile, we had the unpleasant realization that our daycare costs will actually go UP and not down this year, even as the "older" kids finish daycare and go to kindergarten. You would not believe the daycare rates for an infant! And while I've gone back and forth on whether or not it would have been better to have twins again (although mostly leaning away from it), after looking at the budget let's just say that it is wayyyy better this way.

In other related news, we hired a doula (Hi Elysse!) and will be getting down and dirty with the minivan-buying in the next couple of weeks. The kids' birthday party is pretty much planned, and we'll be getting our taxes done next week.

Check.

Check.

Check!

At least the house is clean...

"Dear Grandma and Grandpa,

Can we come live with you? We want to go to the beach and the zoo and eat ice cream. We don't want to take naps or finish all of our dinner. Mommy and Papa make us eat all of our dinners and make us take naps. We don't like that. We want to live with you.

Love Kestian and Adelaide"

This is what I overheard the kids saying as they were writing a pretend letter to the grandparents after a particularly frustrating failed nap attempt. I'll spare all the details but it involved me saying "crap" and "dammit," confiscating all the Dipsies and Laa-Laas (swearing they would not get them back until their birthday), and furiously cleaning the house as I tried to blow off steam. There was a lot of steam. The house has never been cleaner. And for someone as pregnant as I am, that's saying a lot.

Of course, as I heard the kids writing this letter (very loudly, to make sure I could hear), I was torn between laughing at the hilarity of the situation and crying from the "us against them" attitude of the moment. Instead, I vacuumed some more.

But today is a new day. Things will be better. Let's all just ignore the fact that Kestian had 3 time-outs before 7:30 AM this morning... [Note: It was actually 'just' twice, though both times he was naked (not that we give out naked punishments, but that he was in time-out for not putting clothes on!) -Damon]

Sigh....

Maxwell and Damon: Bitternes is the Only Possible Outcome

Devastated isn’t the word to describe it. When I read the rejection letter from the Spanish immersion school for the kids I wanted to cry. Seriously. And this is from someone who has cried maybe 4 or 5 times in my entire adult life.

I mean it is one thing for things to happen to me, I’ve gone through lots in my life and can take it, but when opportunities are taken away from my kids....

I still can’t really talk about it too much, it upsets me. I think Laura summarized my feelings as well: I’m not angry because it was a fair system, but COME ON, if that many people want in, shouldn’t you open up another school or two?

(This damn educational system in the U.S. is all screwed up. They delay language instruction until it is too little and way too late. I mean, what is the point of having high school students take two years of Spanish? They won’t ever learn it! You need to start them early and often. But over the past 10 years there has been a big drop in language education and funding in the public schools because (wait for it….) No Child Left Behind putting an emphasis on other things and schools feeling obligated to stress those over everything else. Another present from one the worst presidents in history. I swear, sometimes I wish I was religious because then I’d know Bush would rot in hell, forever damned for all the evil, suffering, and selfish hurting he caused. And you know what? All of you people that voted for him the second time are complicit in this because you knew what he was and still voted for him. Hell, those that voted for him the first time were also either just as guilty or naïve.)

I am a bitter bitter man, and this whole Spanish school rejection for my kids can’t actually add to something that already is immeasurably large. But I’ll tell you, after I read that letter I mentally checked out of Lexington forever.

What is and what should never be...

So we got the news the other day. I already knew it was bad when I saw Damon holding the standard-size envelope with the return address from "Fayette County Public Schools." Just like it works with college admissions: the bad news comes in a small envelope, the good news comes in a packet. There was no packet. Just a small envelope containing one sheet of paper. Damon actually read the letter first, and I could tell by his devastated look that it was not good. Not good at all. When I looked at the letter, it had all the niceties you could expect in such a situation, except for the one phrase (in bold): "we are unable to offer your child placement at this time." Yes that's right: the kids did not get into Maxwell.

(If you still have no idea what I am talking about, read this and then come back.)

We are truly saddened by this. As I wrote about before, their lives can be so different with this opportunity, this exposure to a foreign language at a young age, and yet their access to it is completely out of our control. Damn lottery. Only it's not the lottery's fault. It's a fair enough system given that the school has limited space. But I do see fault with FCPS. They won't open up more schools to offer this type of opportunity to more kids. Obviously there is a demand (about 300-400 apply and only 100 get in). Obviously it works (Maxwell is a magnet school and has some of the top scores in the city, if not state). But yet it remains this way.

So now the kids will just go to "regular" school, which never really mattered before, but seems so disappointing now. The school in their district is fine enough, but knowing they could have gone to this immersion school, somehow this "regular" school just seems so...well, regular. And we want better than "regular." We take our children's education very seriously and truly want them to have the best - right from the start. And for us, that includes foreign language. But as of now, it will not be in the way we hoped for.

I guess we'll continue to teach them Italian at home, and we have resources for teaching them Spanish or whatever else. But I know it won't be like it could have been. The kids will probably never know the difference, but we'll always know what they have missed. And for that I am sorry.

And if you say to me tomorrow, oh what fun it all would be.
Then what's to stop us, pretty baby.
But What Is And What Should Never Be.
- Led Zeppelin

The forcast is: Busy

Ahhhh. February 1st. A new month. The year has clearly gotten underway. The holidays are long over. Winter will be ending soon. The days are getting longer again. So many nice things.

At least that's what I was thinking until I realized all the crap I have to do this month. The kids' birthday is in little over a month. I have sworn myself to not stress over party planning like I did last year, and just try to be as quick and dirty about it as I can. So I asked the kids what they would like to do for their birthday, and got two different reactions:

Child A: I want to just have my birthday with you and Papa and (sibling) and the baby...

Child B: I want a party.

Now I'll let you guess who said what.... (insert Jeopardy theme)...

Did you guess? Yes, Kestian is the "family guy" while Adelaide is the "party girl."

Hmmmm.... This wasn't making it any easier. I wasn't sure what to do. Knowing that Kestian can get overstimulated with too many people, I was all for going low-key this year. But Adelaide loves a good party and I don't want to deny her that.

After several discussions, I think we have agreed on a nice family lunch, then a party at the Explorium. It will be a lot like what we did last year (and by "a lot" I mean "exactly"). But this way everyone gets a bit of what they wanted.

So I'll book the room and start making my own invitations. I've decided to make my own cakes this year, which will save us a lot of money and shouldn't really be all that much trouble. Of course, the kids won't have some awesome Thomas the Train cake like Karen made last year, but thankfully my kids' standards are still low enough these days that I can get away with a plain old cake. As long as they like the flavor and there are some fun candles on it, we should be good. Right? Right. At least that's what I am going with.

Ok, so that takes care of the kids' birthday. Oh, except what treats to bring to school that day, what birthday presents to get them, what party favors to buy... Oh wait, I thought this was going to be "quick and dirty"... Ha! Foolish Laura! Ok, ignoring my whole must-think-of-everything side, I think we've got all that worked out... what else?

Oh yeah, Damon's birthday. The day after the kids' birthday no less, and most likely the day we'll be having the party. He's a low-key kind of guy when it comes to birthdays, so we'll probably do something like a nice dinner and an ice cream cake. (Good lord there will be a lot of cake!)

Ok...what else? Well there that whole minivan thing. Our bank is lowering auto-loan rates for the month of February, plus hopefully the whole Toyota recall thing will give us a negotiating advantage. All we have to get is get approved for our loan, do our little negotiating trick using W. James Bragg's "Fax Attack" method (which got us an awesome deal on our Matrix), and we can go on our merry way.

Hmmm... what else? Oh yeah....taxes. Need to get that done early. We never did file an amendment to our taxes last year for the new homeowners tax credit (although we should have) and that money will really help with the car now. Either way, though, I just want the taxes done early in case there are any baby issues later on.

Ok, so we have planning the kids' party, planning Damon's birthday, buying a minvan, and doing taxes, all in the next few weeks. Anything else? Hopefully that is all. It's a lot to do in one month, but when it is all done, March should be a breeze!