The kids are very giving to me!

September was good because I did not get sick (as far as I can remember). That is an unusual thing when you have kids. Damn kids.

What they don’t teach you in Parent School (other than ‘your life is over forever’) is that when you have kids, and those kids are in daycare or school, you will be sick. Not you might be sick, not you will often be sick. You WILL be sick. Heck, the Simpsons made fun of this, but I cannot admit it because the show got cancelled after season 8 in my mind.

I went to the doctor last year because I was sick all the time and they ran a bunch of tests to see if anything was wrong with me. Was there? Nope. The reason why I was sick all the time was because the kids. I guess that was good news?

When I was an undergraduate in the winter of 1996 I got the flu right during finals week. It was hellish, but I got better in time to take my advanced stats test (which sealed my ‘B’ in the class dammit). Out of the final six semesters in college, it was the only one that I didn’t get the Dean’s List, and for that I blame the flu (oh, and also MUDs).

But after that I got my flu shot every year and was flu free despite interacting with lots of people for my job. Then I had kids. Since I had kids I’ve had the flu THREE TIMES. If you haven’t had flu for a while, let me remind you that it is terrible, incapacitating, feels-like-you-are-dying horribleness. Thanks kids!

But I don’t have the flu now (thank ‘god’!), but I am sick. What do I have? I didn’t know, so I went to the doctor. He did stuff, and said ‘you don’t have flu, strep throat, or mono. Here, take some Zyrtec and Tylenol.’ Thanks Doc! Not only did you not even attempt to try to figure out what I had (trust me, he half-assed the appointment), but you just told me to take an antihistamine despite that fact that it is useless for a runny nose that isn’t an allergy. Way to know your pharmacology! Also, great job noticing that I WAS ALREADY TAKING CLARITIN! Idiot.

But I’m sick. I’ve been sick for about a week. Over the past week, I’ve gone to bed sometimes at 6:30 (and yes, slept through the night), slept in and taken a nap on the same day yet felt exhausted, gone through the entirety of Kleenex boxes in my office and the house, stayed home on the couch exhausted for one entire day plus multiple half days, and just felt like crap. But I’ve been feeling better the last couple days (‘better’), so what happens? Last night my bowels decide to explode in a…..ok, I won’t give details but I must be getting some new form of sick! Wait, did I say ‘new’, oh no, perhaps it is a re-occurrence of the same thing I had for about two weeks that ended just before the latest sick started. Can I blame my kids for this? Being that Kestian exhibited the same symptoms last night, I think I can.

What can I look forward to once I feel better? I’m sure the kids will surprise me with something (no flu). That’s the great thing about kids, they always are surprising you.

3 years, 3 months, 3 days

On this randomly picked day to celebrate the 698th post to twinbearz.blogspot.com, I thought I would take a few minutes and look at some recent stats here (since I've been keeping track - somewhere in 2007). I'm doing this because even though many of you who read this blog never comment (don't be shy now), I know you are out there. Oh - I know! And I know more than you might think I would know. Know what I mean? But don't let that scare you. Now, Kentucky's breastfeeding rate (lowest in the nation) and circumsion rate (2nd highest in the nation) - that should scare you! But if you are anything like me, you love looking through numbers and data and uncovering the long-lost secrets of the blog.

• July 25, 2006 - First post to this blog
• 1,191 - Days that this blog has been operating
  
• 698 - Posts on this blog (that's more than 1 post every 2 days!)
  
• 15,226 - Page Loads (1,715 in 2007, 5,762 in 2008, 7,749 in 2009)
• 10,360 - Unique Visitors (948 in 2007, 4,087 in 2008, 5,325 in 2009). This includes:
  
  • 8,098 First Time Visitors (681 in 2007, 3,324 in 2008, 4,093 in 2009) and
    
  • 2,262 Returning Visitors (267 in 2007, 763 in 2008, 1,232 in 2009)
    
• Blog Access - It seems that most people get to the blog through "no referring link", but other common access points are through:
  • www.orsetti.com
  • Facebook
  • Blogger
  • Google reader (Hi Paul!) and
  • friend's blogs
• Keywords - There are some strange "keywords" that have lead people to the site, including:
  
  • "youtube our opinion matters" and
    
  • "cat puts head under faucet"
    
• Search Engines - As far as search engines used to locate the blog:
  • 66.67% Google
  • 16.67% Earthlink
  • 16.67% Google Blog Search
• Visit Lengths - People either seem to leave real quick or stay a while. Interesting. Let me show you a graph:
• Browsers:
  
  • 61% - Firefox
    
  • 18% - Safari
    
  • 13% - Internet Explorer
    
  • 4% - Chrome
    
  • 4% - Mozilla (which I guess my tracker differentiates from Firefox).
    
• Where in the World?: The overwhelming majority of our blog visitors are in (or their ISP is based in):
  
  • United States
    
    • Kentucky
      
    • Georgia
      
    • Michigan
      
    • Iowa
      
    • California
      
    • New Jersey
      
    • Ohio
      
    • Maryland
      
    • Virginia
      
    • New York
      
    • Mississippi
      
    • Pennsylvania
      
    • Rhode Island
      
    • Texas
      
    • Minnesota
      
    • Tennessee
      
  • India
    
  • Canada (Hi Paul!)
    
  • Brazil (Hi Julia!)
    
  • Malaysia
    
  • Ireland
    
  • I know we've had other countries visit us in the past, by my tracker is not showing them, such as Andorra and Italy, and my other tracker is showing Russia and Hungary.

I guess that's the most interesting stats from the blog right now. I've had to adjust my other tracker so it will be interesting to see how everything looks as more data is collected.

I love data!!!!

The kids chime in

We don't know the sex of the kid yet, but that doesn't mean we can't think of names! We've been trying to get the kids to give us suggestions (don't worry, we will think of the name, not them) just to see what they'd think of. Mostly we get things like "Baby Brother" or "Baby Sister" or something silly like that, but today they actually gave me real names. After the bath I asked them again and Adelaide suggested "Jacob" while Kestian suggested "Thomas". I'm sure the second was because of the Tank Engine, but where did Jacob come from? Interesting.

Note, however, we would absolutely never in a million years name our child the most popular baby name for a boy for the past few years (Jacob), nor something as common (though not nearly as much lately) as Thomas. Still, it is interesting to hear them trying to think about this. As of now, Damon Jr. or Diane Jr. are safe.

Little Goblins Galore, re-mix

For the last couple of years we have always made it out to the pumpkin patch. In fact, we have often gone to 2 or 3 different ones throughout October. This fall has been so busy that we still have not made it out. In fact, we don't even have a pumpkin yet. But despite the busy weekends filled with soccer games and laundry, we should still manage a fair amount of Halloween celebrating. This weekend we went to Little Goblins Galore, like we did last year. While it was a bit cold, we had a good time playing games and trick-or-treating* (*by "trick-or-treating" I mean: the kids were successful at walking up to costumed people and just holding out their pails until someone put something in it. Why bother with formalities?)

Adelaide: A Princess Witch in her spider-web dress. It was too windy for the hat. Kestian: a capeless, but capped, Superman.


Games...

Games...

Games...

Trick-Or-Treat Trail...

Out of all the costume characters there, they went out of their way to see Scooby-Doo...

Later this week: Halloween Party at the daycare, and Trick-or-Treating. Stay tuned, as the kids may or may not have different costumes for those events. And why not?

Fill in the blanks

__________ (your mother's name) is __________ (emotion) to raise the __________ (noun) on the __________ (random number) season of its __________ (small, British hamlet)-renowned Sesame Street Live touring productions. As the live stage show licensee of Sesame Workshop, __________ (your local vet) will present Abby Cadabby, the __________ (Popsicle flavor) Muppet on Sesame Street, along with Elmo, Zoe, Rosita and all of her furry and feathered __________ (non-bird species of animals) as they ask, ‘What do you want to be when you __________ (euphemism)?' Get ready to sing __________ (automotive profession) songs, ride the __________ (brand of off-road dirt bike) and more when Sesame Street Live "When Elmo Grows Up" performs at Rupp Arena from Friday, Oct. 23 through Sunday, Oct. 25.

When Elmo and his Sesame Street Live friends __________ (verb) about growing up, it's a musical show-and-tell! Bert dreams of becoming a __________ (type of container), Telly longs to be a __________ (major household appliance) and their newest friend, __________ (member of the Bush Administration), wants to be a __________ (body of water) just like her mommy. Elmo thinks about becoming a __________ (world’s oldest profession), but has a hard time predicting his own __________ (national holiday)—he wants to be a __________ (type of leafy green plant) and __________ (favorite fountain drink) all at once! "When Elmo Grows Up" includes lessons on__________ (political watchdog group), __________ (type of summer Olympic sport) and the __________ (pejorative) power of imagination. Children learn that if they __________ (verb) in __________ (imaginary friend) and are willing to __________ (verb), the possibilities are __________ (adjective).

Like television's Sesame Street, each Sesame Street Live production features timeless __________ (type of dinnerware) for all __________ (breeds of dog). Through the __________ (pleasant odor) of this musical __________ (room in house)-quality production, children learn about __________ (major chemical reaction), __________ (piece of furniture) and __________ (type of hybrid car). The universal appeal of a Sesame Street Live production continues long after __________ (physical reaction from food poisoning). __________ (partially interested care-givers) will __________ (verb) the high-tech __________ (piece of furniture), cleverly written __________ (Hardy Boys book title), and __________ (70’s hair style) they'll recognize and enjoy sharing with children, such as "__________ (brand of microwave pizza) on the Range," "Down on the __________ (favorite soup)" and "Give a Little __________ (board game)." "When Elmo Grows Up" features nearly two dozen songs that children will love to sing along with such as "I Love __________ (ice cream novelty)" and "Itsy Bitsy __________ (mythical animal)." Tickets are $___________ (some number over 100). Additional fees and __________ (fraternity prank) may apply. For information online, please visit __________ (small Indonesian country).

(Thank you to the press release at http://www.rupparena.com/aboutUs/news.php for inspiration.)

We need to tell Mommy about THIS!

Where is my ducky? It's not in the playroom. Maybe Mommy knows where it is.

Ah, I knew it. Mommy can find anything. Mommy found it right here in the playroom. Now where is my other ducky? Hmmm... Mommy says I should look in the bins in the playroom closet. Seems obvious enough. I'm sure she means the closet that is closed that we never go in, and not the closet that is open with the white bins in it. I'll open this closet and see what I find.

Oh. My. God.

Addy! Come here! Look at THIS! Let's go show Mommy. I'm sure she doesn't know this is here.

Mommy! Mommy! Look what I found! It's something so cool. I've always wanted something like this!

What? No, Addy found the other one too!

Are you going to get it?

There's been a lot of talk lately on the news about H1N1 and seasonal flu. I think a lot of it is media hype, and normally I just roll my eyes and sigh. In fact I still do. You can often even hear me yelling at the radio "It's just the flu, people!" I have yet to figure out what the big deal is and even why they are calling it a "pandemic." True it is spreading worldwide, but I thought for it to be a pandemic it had to infect a large number of people - like the 1918 flu pandemic that infected 500 million and killed 50-100 million. Now that's a pandemic. What the H1N1 is - with only about a million infected so far, and killing less than 10,000 (according to FluTracker) - I don't know, but I would not call it a pandemic.

However, as someone who is a parent of young children and is pregnant herself, I do have to consider the risks of complications that can occur in these high-risk groups. And I have heard mixed things, like the risks of complications is much higher for children and pregnant women (along with some other high-risk groups), but also that the death rate is comparable to seasonal flu. The latter is good news, but knowing that me and my children are at a higher risk for complications really bothers me. So I have been trying to get a hold of the vaccine in hopes of minimizing our risks. (I guess any vaccine carries some risks, but I have decided (for us) that the risk of getting the H1N1 (with or without additional complications) is worse.)

Now let me tell you about my recent journey with trying to get the kids their seasonal flu shots. Damon got his at work, and I just got mine from my doctor (after waiting until I was past my first trimester), but to get them for the kids has been ridiculous. Every year I get them their shots with no problem. I just call the doctor's office and take them in. The hardest part about getting their shots would be deciding when would be a good time to go so that I could still find a parking spot in the garage when I got back.

No. Not this time. I have been calling the doctor's office every Monday since early September to see when I could get them in. Every time I would call I would be told that they didn't have the shots yet. Ok...early September...it's probably too soon. But by mid-October (when they told me they would have them) they still kept telling me they had none. Meanwhile, the flu has been migrating its way around the daycare and the clock was ticking. So this week when I called they told me, "Oh we ran out." I said "What do you mean you ran out? I call every week and you tell me you haven't gotten them in. Are you saying you had some?" "Yeah, we had some, but they are all gone now." I held in my frustration, although I just wanted to yell at the lady, and calmly asked "Well, are you going to get some more in?" Her response: "Nope. That was it."

I hung up utterly frustrated. During all of this I had called the local pharmacy to see if they would give my kids the shots, but they said they usually don't do children's shots (it's a different dosage). They asked me how old my kids were and when I told them they said "Oh we definitely won't give shots to 4 year olds."

So Plan C at this point was to go to the one last place that had shots: the health department. Now, mind you, I could have gone there from the beginning, but going to the health department is out-of-pocket, whereas if we went to the doctor the shots would have been free. Knowing that going to the health department was going to cost $50, I thought if I just waited another week or two...

But all options were gone. So we went to the health department last night and found it full of people all waiting over an hour for the shot. We decided we would come back the next day. Meanwhile, I had told the kids about the shots and they were relatively excited about it. I mean, they knew it was a shot, and were telling me about how the last time they got shots that it hurt, but I had convinced them that it was important and much better than getting sick. When we decided to leave, Adelaide got very upset, crying that she did not get her shot. I'm sure she was all psyched up for it, and was disappointed when we she didn't get it.

So today Damon took them back for their shots (I had to be at work). The report afterwards from Damon was that there was a lot of crying, limping (because it was in their leg), and more crying. I was sad that I could not be there for them, but they told me on the phone (after saying that "it hurted!") that they loved me. Their Papa's hugs and the free lollipops surely made them feel better.

So that was just for the seasonal shots. All the news is saying that kids and preggies need to get the H1N1 shot too. Well we'd like to*, thank-you-very-much, but it's not available here for another 2 weeks. The health department will be giving the H1N1 shots out (FREE - which is good because the doctor says that they won't be getting any), and you better believe that we will be one of the first in line on the first day of the clinics. Then we will be set.

*Ok, with all that being said, I am quite surprised (but I probably shouldn't be) at how may people aren't getting seasonal/H1N1 shots - perhaps as many as 2/3's of parents say they won't get their kids vaccinated. Are you one of them? Seriously, I'm curious about this. Everyone has their reasons and I'm not going to try and change anyone's mind, but I find this interesting. Are you concerned about the risks of the shot? Do you feel the risk of complications from the virus is low? Tell me what are you going to do.

Bounce U

Last year the kids were invited to their friend's party at Bounce U, and this year they were invited again. The kids had a blast, but sadly I had to sit this one out, what with the baby and all.


Always a good time.

Arbor Day

The other day Adelaide found an acorn at school. She saved it, carried it around all day, and brought it home. When we told her that the acorn was really a seed for an oak tree, she wanted to plant it. So tonight, we got out the shovel and watering can and put that acorn in the ground.

Excavation:

Deposit:

Reconstruction:

Saturation:

After we finished, Adelaide stood there waiting for it to grow.

Fall morning

Snuggly children.

Frosty windows.

Warm socks.

Morning shadows.

Golden sunrise.

Red leaves.

Radio chatter.

Sweet orange juice.

Toasting bread.

Crisp newspaper.

Fresh perspective.

Too much depends on chance

Yesterday was the last day to enter the kids into a lottery. Now I'm not talking about the kind of lottery where if you get picked you get stoned to death. Nor is it the kind where if you get picked you win $10 million. While the former is horrific, and the latter quite desirable, this is a totally different kind of lottery. We are talking about our children's education!

With the kids starting kindergarten next year, we are thinking hard about the school they will attend. We are located in the district of Southern Elementary - which is not a bad school - but we really want the kids to go to Maxwell Elementary School. You see, Maxwell is a very desirable school to send your children to (at least we think so). Why - you ask? Because it's the city's only Spanish immersion school. Let me correct myself - it's the city's only PUBLIC Spanish immersion MAGNET school. Not that there is a private option, but this school is completely public. As in FREE. And when your child attends Maxwell, 50% of their instruction will be completely in Spanish. Since kids learn languages best at a young age (obviously), they can become fluent in the language at a very fast rate. We want our children to have the gift of multi-languages (Italian at home, Spanish at school, English everywhere) in hopes of greater opportunities in their adult life. If we could have our way, we'd add French into the mix (and we just might!). But for now, Maxwell is our golden ticket.

However, the only way to get into Maxwell is though a lottery. So many people want to send their kids to Maxwell (300-400 applicants for 100 slots) that the school system has decided a lottery is the fairest way to select their students. Now one could argue that references and essays may help to weed out the best applicants, but I'm guessing that because this is a public school they can't restrict in that manner. So lottery it is.

Now, the lottery was open from September 1 - October 15 to apply for next fall (you gotta be early, folks!) and I dutifully entered the kids in on September 2, feeling bad that I was a day past the first opportunity. Deep down I hoped that the lottery officials would go ahead and pick my kids because they were one of the first entrants. I envisioned a nice elderly lady in blue polyester pants and a flowered shirt and orthopedic shoes telling her colleagues: "Ah! I see that the Orsettis are serious about this - entering their kids early! Let's just go ahead and pick them." And then her colleagues jump up, put her on their shoulders and carry her around saying "We want the Orsettis! We want the Orsettis!" You see, I am bitter that anyone who waited until 11:50pm on October 15th has the same chances as we do. We deserve it because we really want it, and our prompt application obviously shows that! Those lazy slackers who waited until the last minute obviously aren't that committed. If you can't sign up early - don't sign up at all! (These are things I need therapy for.)

But yesterday the lottery closed. And we now have to wait. They don't make their decision until January, so it will be a while until we find out. I know, I know, you are saying, "Well, if they don't get in this year, you can try again next year." But it doesn't work that way. All the kids accepted this year will fill up the 1st grade class next year. And they have a very low attrition rate. Out of the 100 they admit, they may lose 4 or 5. To apply again next year for the remaining spots - well, good luck with that! Plus, they will have missed an entire year of being exposed to Spanish. We went to their open house last month (See! We are serious! Pick us! Pick us!) and the principal said that over the course of one year, the kids will get about 1,000 hours of Spanish. You can't make that up with tutoring. And while they will accept a few new kids for 1st grade, the kids will be just so far behind. And after that (2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th grades) the kids will have to test in to meet the Spanish proficiency requirement.

So basically, if the kids don't get in now, they won't get in at all. That is quite scary. We really want them to attend this school to have this wonderful opportunity, and so much of what we want - and ultimately their entire bilingual future - depends on the luck of the draw.

Now I'm sure Damon will review with you the statistics in play here, but I can touch on it a bit. We actually have a pretty good chance. Better than most actually. And here's why: They have this policy that if one sibling gets selected, the other one(s) are also automatically selected. So we have 2 "chances" to get picked, whereas everyone else (except any other twins) will just have one. Assuming there are 100 slots and 300 applicants, our odds go up from 33% to actually more than 50%. Again, I'll have Damon go over the math. Math is hard.

Now, we haven't mentioned anything about this on the blog (or Facebook, or even just to anyone) because we are selfish and don't want to clue in anyone who could eventually be our competition. But now that the lottery is closed, we can blab all we want. We hope that this works out for the kids and they get in. Now is the time for rain dances, prayer, and sending good vibes to the lottery officials:

Orsettis..... Orsettis.... Pick the Orsettis!...

Adelaide

Adelaide sleeps wonderfully at night in her ‘big kid bed.’ Wow, such a small sentence that I never thought I’d write, but it turns out like that anyway. At night she sleeps really well, looks very comfortable, doesn’t toss and turn much, and almost never wakes up in the middle of the night. This is not the girl from a couple years ago.

If you are unaware, our darling daughter was never what you would call an easy night-time girl. She was in the NICU for two weeks with her brother (we were there all the time), but she needed the whole two weeks while they kept them together when Kestian could have been moved out of it. I remember the tubes in her, the pricking her feet, all that stuff, it was all very heartbreaking.

When we took them home, Adelaide tended to be on my side of the bed much of the time (they both were between us). She wasn’t all snuggly at night as much as Kestian (though he was very squirmy falling asleep), but she would curl up to my pillow and would love when I held her feet (I attribute that to all the pricking of her feet in the NICU). No matter how difficult she was, I always remembered back to the NICU and (despite being frustrated many times) never resented putting in the time to get her to sleep.

“Putting in the time” is probably an understatement; Adelaide was always difficult to go to sleep. I would often carry her around for hours, sometimes walking up and down stairs (she liked that sometimes), sometimes holding her in front of the fan (she liked that a lot), bopping up and down, curling up with her, singing to her, occasionally taking her for a walk. Laura would do this too, but the majority of the time I had the responsibility for Adelaide’s sleep.

I like to think that all that time and care and co-sleeping and attachment parenting really helped her be comfortable sleeping so that she is where she is now. It makes me happy.

Beyond sleeping, however, Adelaide has changed and blossomed from when she was a baby and toddler. Nowadays, she is an outgoing girl who participates a lot in class and even is often the dominant playmate with her brother. She can play on her own and with other friends, but loves playing with her brother most of all. I think his easygoing and people-person personality really helped her grow socially.

But this just isn’t the same girl I used to know a few years ago. I remember in her old daycare how one teacher said she never heard her say anything ever (as opposed to chatterbox Kestian). She’s much more outgoing and social and there is something in her eyes that is hard to describe. Go back and look at pictures of both kids from about two years ago versus now. You can look at Kestian and immediately recognize him through his eyes (heck, he’s been like that from birth pretty much). Not her, though. Her eyes now are much more bubbly and similar to her brother’s, which is unlike the reticent, unsure, and almost melancholy dint that was a few years ago.

I am really happy she is blossoming into a more social and outgoing girl who sleeps well.

But I still miss the way she was.

(almost) 13 weeks

If I'm this big now - how big am I going to get?

Soccer stars

Soccer has been going pretty well. So well that we even arrived at the last game - on time!

But really, I think the kids are getting more into it. When we first started the season, Kestian would often be found standing in the middle of the field, by himself, spinning in circles, while everyone "actively participated." Adelaide has been into it from the get-go, but it's been a slower journey for Kestian.


But now we are seeing both the kids really get into it. Running after the ball, trying to kick in the goal (sometimes even the right goal!), and complaining less about being "tired."


Adelaide has managed to get one or two goals in per game:


And Kestian is starting to get more aggressive with the ball - actually running up to it and sometimes trying to kick it. His favorite part of the game is when he gets to kick the ball into play. He will back-up as far as he can, either to the edge of the adjacent field, or to the edge of the bushes (yes that's him all the way up on the bushes)

and run up to the ball to kick it (a technique that the rest of the kids on the team seem to have adopted now). I am sure he is thinking he will get more speed/power this way, but his execution of it has not been refined. He often will kick the top of the ball, moving it about 2 feet, then stop and wait for someone else to come up and kick it.

I know. It's all about having fun and practicing, and I'm glad the kids are doing just that. We may have to post-pone the Olympic trials though.

20 minutes, a trip to Lowes, and $500 later...

As you may know, we have never been a "dryer" family. Ever since we'd been married (12+ years now!) we have gone without - and have been happy about it. It has allowed us to avoid the cost of buying a dryer and the electricity to run it, and to avoid shrinkage and wear on our clothes. We had a system. One load every 2 or 3 days, hung up on drying racks, kept us in business. Even when the kids came along it was not a problem.

Until now.

The kids' clothes are bigger. There is more bedding, towels, and non-apparel items. We can't keep up. It actually was going just fine until we moved. Moving created a back-log of laundry. Sheets, towels, swimsuits, clothes, clothes, and clothes. Keeping to our 1-load-every-2-or-3-day system was not practical since we were so busy.

But I thought we could catch up. We've fallen behind before and caught up. We can do it again. Well, after about a month of dutifully keeping to a 1-load-every-2-days rhythm, there was just no progress. We were maintaining but not advancing.

We finally made the decision to get a dryer, but then balked when we saw the prices. Having not looked at dryers forevar, we were shocked.

So I went back to thinking we could catch up. Be more diligent. Never miss a day. That's what I told myself. But 3 or 4 weeks later: still no progress. Just keeping up. And by now I was getting tired of the constant piles of dirty clothes everywhere. I had enough.

So we went to Lowe's (after about 20 minutes of research) and picked one out. Normally I research things for weeks before buying anything - especially big-ticket items - but things are too busy and I'm too tired to bother. (What's happening to me???). Who knows if we got a good deal. Who knows if we picked the best dryer. I'm too tired to care. But we have a dryer and now we can really tackle the piles. Last night I did 2 loads and I'm ready for more.

I CAN do this (http://www.ican-online.org/)

Thanks to all who posted such thoughtful comments to my last blog entry. I have since "seen" my high-risk ob - "seen" because he was in the office but 'quarantined' in the back from the flu. I was disappointed to find that out because I was really hoping to discuss with him his thoughts on a VBAC.

But regardless of not being able to talk to the doctor, the appt went well. I had another ultrasound to check on the blood clot thing and because we need to monitor my cervix. Let's just say that cervix problems were the reason I had 8 weeks (you heard me - 8 weeks!) of bedrest the last pregnancy. I really hope it doesn't happen again, but so far everything is looking good. Of course the problems didn't present until later in my pregnancy the last time (around 24 weeks), so I am not surprised at this early date that everything looks good.

Anyhow, when we were done with the ultrasound, the technician wanted to know if I had any questions for the doctor. I told her I wanted to discuss delivery options. Her comment was "Do you want a repeat c-section?" and my heart just sank. I thought, "Oh no. Not these guys too?" So I said no, and I was about to go into why when she interrupted me and said "Oh! You want a VBAC?!" with a big smile. I said "Yes!" and she went on to say how that would be much better for recovery and that St. Joe East will allow* it as long as there is a back-up medical team (but she rolled her eyes at that, saying that of course there is a back-up medical team over there) and blah blah blah. So I asked her if the doc was supportive of VBACs and she said "Oh Yeah!" I told her how my regular ob was reluctant/hesitant and she said that if I wanted this doc to take over my care I could just call the other docs office and ask for my care to be transferred. It was very encouraging!

Now I still want to have "the talk" with this doc, and sooner rather than later so we are all on the same page, and also so I know if I still need to look for a midwife to take over my care. I'm not against a midwife at all, but I do have a history with this doc (he assisted in my care during my first pregnancy) and some of the midwives that have been recommended to me are in Frankfort - which I just can't afford to travel to (time-wise) every time I need an appt. As it is I don't have enough time to take off for maternity leave, so all my appts need to be short and at lunch so I can save what little time I do have. However, that the doc's staff say that he is supportive of VBACs is great to hear. If this doc will willingly work with me to have a VBAC, I will be happy. So I probably will transfer my care over to him in the next few weeks.

The other good news is that everything right now is looking good with the baby. It's about 2 inches long and the tech said she sees no reason for any concern that would lead them to recommend an amnio. The hematoma seems to be resolving on its own, my cervix looks fine, and we were able to see the baby swim around. In fact, they moved my due date up 5 days (it was April 28th, now it's Apr 23rd**) because of it's progress and growth. I figure if I can keep this up (whatever "this" is) I can knock off 10 more days by the time the baby comes. (Har har!) I'm actually not a a big fan of due dates because they are just estimates, so really I'm just looking forward to the new addition sometime in mid/late April.

This picture shows the baby is lying on it's side. You can see it's head (left), body (right) and it's little arm/hand above. There is trace evidence of the (nearly resolved) hematoma on the upper left.

*Would you believe that there are hospitals that have a policy against VBACs? I have been learning so much about this. Sigh.

**Interesting tid-bit: Kestain and Adelaide were "due" on April 21st. Of course they ended up being 7 weeks early, but how interesting it is that this pregnancy is following the exact same timeline as last time.

Just how committed do I have to be?

Have you seen the bumper stickers? I saw it once and didn’t think to take a picture of it until it was too late. It has a picture of a stork carrying a baby and says: “Home Deliveries are for Pizza.” It took me a while to process that. Was it someone weird "new moms" group pushing more pizza deliveries? But then it hit me: this is anti-home-birth! Is there such a thing? After looking around on the Internet for a picture of the bumper sticker (which I can't find anywhere – but please send a pic of it to me if you do find one), I discovered that these were bumper stickers issued at an American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists conference. Wow! It’s a campaign to tell women that home births are just too dangerous and all births should be in the hospital. Wow! Now I'm not pro-hospital or pro-home-birth, but to tell women that it's dangerous to have a birth at home is really quite bothersome. Karen, Ms. Home Birth Goddess, feel free to jump in here!

Anyhow, I have been thinking about my own upcoming labor and delivery. I probably will have it in a hospital - but that's because I choose to and not because I think it's the only/best way. But more than that I have been thinking about what kind of delivery I will have.

Now, Kestian and Adelaide were born via c-section. That's because Kestian was the “bottom” baby and was breech. Not just breech, but he had parked his butt on my cervix. Yeah, it’s hard enough pushing a baby out, but there’s no way to push a baby out when it’s folded in half AND there is another baby in there. It just wasn’t going to happen.

But I was ok with that. I always knew it was a possibility given Kestian’s position. But we had prepared nonetheless for the chance at a natural delivery. We went to the classes. We hired a doula. We hoped. But when I found myself in the hospital 4 cm dilated and Kestian’s butt still blocking the way – well c-section it was.

The recovery from that, however, was long. It was weeks before I could stand up straight or cough without pain, I got a spinal headache from the epidural, and I just didn’t feel “better” for a long time. It certainly made taking care of preemie newborn twins all the more difficult.

So this time around I have decided that I’d like to avoid a c-section. And, really, why not? Unless the baby is in some complicated breech position, or there is some emergency, I see no reason not to go for it. I looked at some pictures of a c-section and (if I wasn’t already convinced before) I knew then that I did not want to be cut open again. In fact, why should I even consider a c-section this time? If you are anything like me, you will make a list of all the pros and cons. So, being me, I did just that. Here's what I have so far (as I'm sure I have not thought of everything):

Natural Birth (Pros)

• Hormones are released during labor that help both the mother and baby
• As the baby squeezes through the birth canal, fluids are pushed out of its lungs
  
• Healing time is just a couple days
• I can be sure that the “turkey is done”
• The medication used in a c-section is never good for the baby
• I can nurse the baby right away
• Proper relaxation techniques can reduce pain

Natural Birth (Cons)

• The previous scar could tear leading to a uterine rupture (but actually the risk is about 1% - so not likely)
• Other tears can happen, which can’t be fun
• It’s a lot of work and tiring for the mom
• Can be painful

C-Section (Pros)

• It’s “faster” for delivery
• Less “work” for delivery
• It's often scheduled for everyone's convenience*
  

C-Section (Cons)

• It’s major surgery – risk for infection, another scar
• There are risks of complication from the procedure (anesthesia, bleeding, mistakes)
• Healing time can be weeks
• *It's often scheduled 1-2 weeks before the baby's due date, cutting short the time the baby has to finish developing in the mother
  

Ok, I’m sure I have missed some points, but that’s what I have right now. So based at least on that, I'd really like to try to have a natural birth this time. Of course I wonder if I can handle the pain, but what worries me more is that I get all gung-ho to have a natural birth, planning and preparing, and then I end up having to have a c-section for some reason after all. Can I handle the disappointment after building myself up? And if I don't fully commit to it, will I be less successful at going through with it? I guess it’s best to plan for the best, prepare for the worst, but I don’t want to “fail” at this. The more I think about this, the more I feel like having a natural birth is as important for my psyche as it is for me and the baby’s health.

So with all this on my mind, I had a routine visit with my doc today. Everything is looking good. I brought up my questions about the delivery, and the Doc says "I'm assuming you want a repeat c-section..." Now I have no idea why she thought that. I have never said that. Anyways, we talked about it some, and it seems her major concern is a uterine rupture. She said she would look at my records to see what kind of incision I had last time (some are less likely to rupture than others), but her sigh when I said I didn't want a c-section was not encouraging. If she balks at a natural birth because of my previous incision, do I trust her? Do I get another doctor? I certainly don't want a uterine rupture, but from what I can tell there is a low chance of it happening. But there is a change of it happening. But I also don't want a c-section to avoid the unlikely chance that the worst will happen. I don't know what's best.

I have an appt with my high-risk OB next week (who is sooooo nice) and I will ask him his opinion. Depending on what he says, I'd even consider having him do my delivery. He was my high-risk OB with my last pregnancy, so I feel like I can trust him. I wonder what his thoughts are...

There is just so much to think about.

A day in the life...

6:55am - Finally decide to get out of bed. Debate the merits of throwing up. Moment passes. Get up. Go pee.

7:00 - Get dressed. Grumble that none of my pants fit anymore - already!

7:10am - Get kids up and dressed. Finish getting ready for work. Pack "lunch." (What the hell do I want to eat later? Everything looks gross and good at the same time.)

7:45am - Drop kids off at daycare. Drive to work.

8:30am - Get to work. Stop by cafeteria and get eggs and toast. Savor every bite of the crappy, nasty but oh-so-delicious eggs from the cafeteria. Ponder asking for "recipe" but decide it's best I don't know.

8:40am - Go through email.

8:45am - Go pee.

9:15am - Notice yet another headache.* (*Can be replaced with "migraine aura" on any given day. You pick.)

9:30am - Attend meeting.

10:00am - Excuse myself to go pee.

10:45am - Start musing how the lovely "feeling" (which is back) is always accompanied by hunger. Wonder just how I can feel like I am going to throw up and soooo want to eat a whole bag of popcorn at the same time...

11:00am - Back to checking email. Try to decide how much longer I can go before I either throw up or eat lunch. Hint: It won't be 12pm.

11:15am - Go pee.

11:30am - Decide to eat "lunch." Not happy with it.

12:15pm - Still have damn headache.

12:30pm - Go pee. Head to another meeting.

1:30pm - Wish I were at home taking a nap.

1:45pm - Go pee.

2:30pm - Mid-afternoon snack (aka: What I couldn't eat at lunch).

3:00pm - Check more email. Work on project.

3:05pm - Go pee.

4:00pm - Try to shake off "must. sleep. now." feeling.

4:15pm - Late afternoon snack. (What, you think I can make it to dinner? Hahahahahahahahahaha!)

4:30pm - Go pee.

5:00pm - Leave work. Go pick up kids. Complain to husband about headache, tiredness, the "feeling," and how Taco Bell would be really, really good!

6:00pm - Get home. Go pee.

6:30pm - Eat dinner. All three bites of it.

6:45pm - Lay on couch motionless. Nod to children as they walk by asking questions, like "Mommy, will the baby come out of your nose?" or "Do kittens come from eggs?"

7:30pm - Go pee.

7:45pm - Shower (because, really, when else am I going to get one in?)

8:00pm - Give kids bath or read them stories.

8:45pm - If still awake, eat bowl of cereal to shake off "feeling.".

9:00pm - Go pee.

9:15pm - Decide if I should take Tylenol for headache. Hope that more water is better than pills. Go to bed exhausted. Fight with restless legs for an hour.

11:30pm - Wake up to go pee.

1:30am Wake up to go pee.

3:45am - Wake up to go pee. Spend the next hour trying to get back to sleep (OR have son come in and tell you he wet the bed, requiring an immediate change of clothes and bedding...).

5:00am - Wake up to go pee.

6:10am - Alarm starts to go off.

Return to beginning.

Musings on memories...

As the kids grow older, I am constantly reminded of their development. I guess that sounds silly, but you know when you are around something every day you hardly notice the changes, until you finally notice that your son's pajamas are way too small, or your daughter has outgrown her shoes for the third time this year.

Since we've been around these kids ever since they couldn't do anything, any time that they can do something I find myself marveling at it. It's not a matter of low expectations, but rather just an amazement with progress. I still remember the first time that Kestian could hold his bottle all by himself.

It was a completely freeing moment (especially when you have two babies that require bottle-holding assistance). You go for so long trudging through doing things the "hard way", and then all of a sudden the kids do something and the whole world is easier.

But it's more than physical changes that strike me. It's also the cognitive changes. As they have made many of the primary advances (eating, walking, talking, dressing), I am all the more fascinated by the subtle ones. Never mind the fact that the kids have a fully-functioning vocabulary, and are even showing signs of knowing how to spell, it's their memory that really intrigues me.

Nowadays, they can remember way more than I would ever think a young child could. Two years ago, when it snowed in the winter, we made the kids wear two pairs of socks in their boots to keep their feet warm. I think that year we only had one snow that we took the kids out in.


Now, as the seasons start to change, they have been talking about snow again, and keep noting "You have to wear TWO pairs of socks when you go out in the snow!" Such a trivial thing to me, but they still remember it and are adamant about it. It's like that with other odd things, like remembering a toy they used to play with from not the last house we lived in, but the one before that. Or when a door closed on their foot like 2 years ago.

Of course this memory thing can have negative repercussions, like how tasting peanut butter one time (and not liking it) keeps them from ever wanting to try it again. Or having one mean dog come run up in your face scaring you from ever going near a dog again. (Ok. That one is reasonable and probably a good effect.)

But with all of that said, lately I'm always caught off-guard when every time we read a book, my children (probably more often Kestian) will stop me on a page and say that it's the same picture as the cover. Sure enough, we flip to the cover and the same picture is on the cover as the page we are on. And this happens not just on our favorite books, but on ones we are reading for the first time.

Take for example this book. Here is the cover:


And here is the page in the book that matches it:


Here's another one... Cover:


Inside:

Sure many picture books are set up like this, but there isn't one book we have read that they haven't stopped me on the "matching page" to compare to the cover. And it's not like before we read the book anyone says "Oooo! Look at this cover. Let's see if we can find the same picture inside the book!" It's just so fascinating to me - particularly because I NEVER notice this. I am curious as to why they even do it.

So as the kids continue to grow and develop and progress, I will continue to marvel and oooo and ahhh. That the kids can start out literally as blobs and become almost like real "people" is just so interesting.

Since everyone keeps asking :)

Ok. I guess I underestimated the readership of this blog. But that is a good thing. It's nice to know that I'm not writing for the birds and the bees.

So I have been asked several times now about "what happened" with my recent doc appointment. You know, the one where I had to get (yet) another ultrasound to see what this "thing" was that kept showing up.

When you last tuned in, recent ultrasounds kept showing this mass-like thing next to the gestational sac. (You can see "it" to the upper left of the gestational sac. It looks triangular in shape.):


Possible ideas as to what it was were: a) blood clot, b) an undeveloped fetus (a twin, if you will), or c) who the hell knows. The idea of it being a possible twin really threw me for a loop. It left me contemplating too many what-if's...

So anyway, I did go to the high-risk doc and had another ultrasound, still showing the "thing" (see above). The doc said, "This is the third one I've seen today." He said it was a blood clot and it's fairly common. It's not harmful to the baby (or me). We discussed it's impact, if any, on the pregnancy. (I wanted to know, you know, if either of us would die from it). He said they usually can't figure the cause, but it should not complicate things. Probably one of two things will happen: 1) it will reabsorb (heal), or 2) it could persist causing more bleeding.

Happily, it's been about 4 weeks since I had the initial bleeding that alarmed me so, and have not had any since. So my guess is that it has re-absorbed, or is just sitting there in hibernation mode. Everything else seems to be going fine with the pregnancy, and I have a routine visit next week.

Isn't it cool, though, to see the little guy/gal in there?